Sunday, February 29, 2004

hello
i really saw a need to write today cos its probably the only time i ever write a blog entry on the 29th of february. the next time it comes, i'll be 21 and it would be interesting to see if im still writing my blog by then.
yeah so on to todays blog, and since today is so unique,i shall not write bout what i did today but about the specialness of the day. haha i dont knoe what im talking about cos i dont knoe how to describe what im gonna write but im sure you will understand when i write.

todays topic:"why are things the way they are"

many ppl have always wondered, and joked about the poor lad whose birthday falls on the 29th of feb, he only genuinely gets to celebrate his birthday once every 4 years, i havent met a person whose birthday is on this day, but i would very much like to ask him or her how they actually celebrate their birthday on the other three years where the 29th of february is still being manufactured(all the 1/4 days and so on). i pretty much followed the idea where they celebrate it on the 28th? but its kwite sad if you think about it, not being able to celebrate your actual birthday, and the poor boy or girl must be cursing their luck and wondering why God dealt them such a cruel fate of making them appear in to the world on the 29th? why not one day earlier? or one day later? i wouldnt knoe how it feels cos im not born on the 29th of feb, but from my point of view, it kinda sucks.

and so from there, i shall drift away and using 'being born on the 29th of feb' for a starting point, i just wanna talk about why things happen the way they do.
im kwite a horrible christian, believe me, i cant say the best for myself when it comes to matters of faith, but ask me if God exists, and im the first person who'll say yes. ask me if i believe in God and i'll say yes. im not the most fervent of christians, but i sure as heck do believe in Christ. and i thought it may be a little sensitive to link God to my blog today, but i dont think i'll upset anyone seeing im a christian myself. and anyway, this goes to any other gods, whom other people believe in.
i mean, we all do agree that everything that happens, is part of God's big plan and stuff and that we knoe even though its not apparent rite now, we know it'll be for the benefit of us in the future. and i knoe that is true, but i've always had trouble trying to see that its for my good, and acknowledge it, cos im so darn stubborn.
i always think that my life is a cruel joke, that God deals me blows here and there for hs amusement, but then i realise im not the only one who feels that way. ok one example. last year in november, studying so darn hard for Os and it had finally came. and physics, which i had mugged so hard for cos it was one of my worst subjects, and i had two physics tuitions to prepare. and just when i had the satisfaction of knowing i studied all i could, i wake up the next morning and my temperature is 43 degrees! well done i said, and i was so frantic, mostly cos i DIDN'T want to miss it. i mean all thru out the year when i wanted to fall sick so i could pon school and on the day i didnt want it to happen, i fell sick, and not just that. terribly ill. and thankfully the invigilators(thanks mr seow and mrs ravi) let me take the paper but i just couldnt concentrate and my shirt was drenched with sweat and it was so uncomfortable, i was better off not taking the paper. and it was paper 1 and paper 2. i seriously couldnt even shade the oval for the mcq properly. i knew i had flunked, but as i found out 2 days ago, things dont always turn out THAT bad. i mean, a b4, heck i thot i had gotten a c6. and i guess by making me ill, God gave me the excuse to say that,well i was 43degrees and got a b4, who knows what score i would have gotten if i had been 37degrees? i dont knoe man, but somewhere in the bible it says God only puts you up to what you can handle, and i guess he will always give you a way out when it really matters.
yeah so all those who are dissappointed at your Os,im not gonna ask you too look at things on the brighter side of perspective,cos everyone's already asked you to do that. and for some of you, there is no brighter side. but i just wanna tell you that your questions will be answered. and whatever God you believe in, have you even took the time to thank him for your results? i mean,im sure you had bombarded him with questions on why your results turned out like that. but havent you wondered, maybe the grace of God prevented you from getting worse results? i mean i totally forgot until a few moments ago while writing this, and i said a short prayer, but im gonna long one tonite. heck maybe say 15 points(and eric im not talking abt you its just a random number) isnt what you wanted, but have you ever wondered, maybe the big plan was not for you to go jc? but God knew how much you wanted to go jc and opened up another way for you, just to make you happy, cos God loves each and everyone of us(haha this is so NOT me). yeah im proud to say i got 19, cos thats an improvement from 22, and well, some people arent really proud of their scores but theres no one else to blame. not your school teacher, not the chao angmoh marker in england, cos at the end of the day, how much you put in is how much you get in return, whether you accept thats its yours doing or not.
so yes 19 points, after lots of sadness, i have to say, im glad wth 19 points. well yeah, maybe 8 is better than 15. and 15 is better than 19. but well, 19 is sure better than 25.

lately,i've been feelinig rather,preacher-ish. let me tell you why. my friend in perth(haha ok la..hes ryan ho for those who knoe him)has been calling me pretty often cos we're both in australia and the calls are cheaper. he has been bombarding me with lots of questions regarding life, and its really good, cos i used to think i was the only one who felt this way, but ryan ho has helped me see that, i aint the only one alone in this world.
his favourite question goes something like this' i knoe its part of Gods plan but why cant it be this way instead' or 'why cant God just make things simpler and make her like me since i already like her'. not exactly word but word, but it goes something along those lines la. ohwell you get the idea anyway. and being one who normally asks questions like this, and having to this time instead, answer this questions and comfort a person,well, helped me see things clearer.
i mean i could have agreed and said, 'yeah what the heck, why doesnt God make her like me since i like her so much' and agree with ryan ho, and we could both talk on the phone for hours just bitchin about how God made our lives suck.and after that 2 or 3 hours, we would both put down our phones, go to sleep, and lie in bed and still feel as sad as ever before.
so seeing that it wouldnt harm comforting ryan instead of bitching along, i took the time to actually answer his questions. and in so, i guess i answered mine. i wouldnt wanna betray ryan ho's privacy by telling you what exactly was said, but i just wanna say that, through a totally unexpected way,i found answers, and the best thing was, i found them in myself. and thru a totall ironic source, i mean those who knoe ryan ho, he's the last person you look for answers from. especially when it comes to this sorta thing.
and the best thing ryan said to me was,'dont you wish she would just like you and things would be simpler', and i just said yes. but things arent always simple. and ryan asked me why the girl he like couldnt like him, and i answered that you cant force this kinda things, cos if it happens, it does, but if it doesnt than maybe its just not meant to be. and in answering him, i answered myself.
things dont always turn out the way i want them to, but who am i to complain? im not God, i dont rule my life. He gave me life so i guess my life belongs to Him. but i do knoe, whatever happens, isnt to harm me. yeah sure, knock me down so i get back on my feet again. thats part and parcel of life. to quote a cliche, what doesnt break you only makes you stronger.
God rewards those who persevere, and i knoe i'll be rewarded eventually. whether she finally likes me too, or because of this last few years, God taught me an amazing lesson in patience and devotion and dedication,so when i do eventually find the right one for me, i'll be able to treat her as well as i possibly can. even if in the end, her name doesnt start with a 'k'.

Saturday, February 28, 2004

heyhey
i had a damn good dinner last nite with wei an..we went to lygon street where all the posh italian eateries are and we went to this damn good place we had the last time we came to lygon for dinner la.then we ordered one entree size pasta to share, and a large pizza to share. the pasta wass damn good, it was penne in chilli oil, with bacon or something like that and it was soooo good. and then the pizza was even better but we knew it cos we had this pizza before. its called aussie and its like tomato based with ham, and then before they put it in the oven, they crack an egg on top so while the pizza is in the oven, the egg will cook but only slightly caust the pizza is not in the oven for very long so its kinda like having soft boiled eggs on top of your pizza. ahh delicious....
then wei an ordered beer so we had abit and then we went to eat gelato and ohh i tell you!! im going to eat gelato everynight from now on...cos the gelato girl is so so so so damn cute!! she looks of studying age so i think its her part time job, and since shes still studying, she cant be much older than me.. *hint hint*
haha and there was once after she gave me her ice cream, she asked if we wanted anything else, and wei an wanted to say 'yeah can i have your number?' haha but he hasnt done it yet so maybe i'll be sneaky and go by myself today before he can do it.. haha shes so pretty...
ok just woke up cos im having my monthly hangover so not much else to write yet..see ya!

Friday, February 27, 2004

whoever wants to knoe, yeah 19 points, so dont ask me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

and i must say hi to tania, cos shes been a regular reader of my blog, so now i have more that 2 readers(shumin and mich).haha tania's an awfully good friend, always lending an ear to listen to my problems, and im sure she'll provide a shoulder to cry on too...haha tania's awfully cool, sitting at the cool table during recess so watch out haha..guess i'll end here but thanks for the great friendship, tania!


hey eric..stupid eric best mate of mine says i never tribute him on my blog so i feel like doing one for him but cannot cause i must end with karen so eric..nannynannybooboo!!
haha but i'll just say a few short words on how eric has been my number one guy for the past year, lifting me from my downs,and sharing with me all my ups. hes taught me lots of stuff, mostly bad, but got some good stuff like social studies la! so basically, i wanna say that i would have never made it through the year without my best bud hairic chan kungfu, i mean, eric chang kuang fu.
okok i feel like crying now haha cos i just talked to my best mate eric and im listening to crossroads by blazin squad...its like damn meaningful, let me tell you why..
like there was this close bunch of us last year..me,eric,genxian and adam were the closest, the there were others like azad,joshua,chandra who were all rather close. and like for the Os, eric, genxian,adam and me would ALWAYS study together. and it was this times that like really got us damn close cos it was like what we had been studying for, for the last 4 years and it was this gigantic obstacle, and the fact that we were overcoming it together and helping one another get past it, really just made the friendship even stronger. and even relaxing, we did together...movies, pool,posing along orchard road as adam loves to do(haha), yeah we were just such a close bunch.
and so the Os were over but we still went out, up till grad nite..that was a memorable nite... man, just knowing i'll be seeing some of those faces for the last time ever, and truth be told, there were some faces, i was glad never to see again, but then there were some faces, i wanna see for the rest of my life. ugly mugs like genxian and eric and adam, no matter how ugly they were, they were faces i want to see next to me everyday cos these were faces, i knew would get me through every obstacle i face.
but after that, we kinda drifted. eric went back to malaysia and i only saw him once every 3 weeks or so. adam also disappeared, probably polishing up his buayaing skills to prepare for the year 2004(and believe it has worked already). and then gen xian totally departed from my life, no word from him whatsoever. and genxian was probably my best friend out of the lot.
so like this year, genxian went to sajc, adam went to MI, josh went to acjc, brian was preparing to go to taylors college in melbourne, eric was leaving for sydney, and me, facing the not very welcome prospect of going to trinity college.haha yeah like everyone was going everywhere except the same place, and this were people ive been with for the last 3 to 4 years of my life, and being around people other than them was unthinkable and unfamiliar and unwanted.
'so tell me what ya gonna do(when there aint no where to run), when judgement comes for you'
'so tell me what ya gonna do(when there aint no place to hide), when judgement comes for you'
'see ya at the crossroads'
i like the last line the most cos it exactly what my friends and i are experiencing. everyones got their own life to live and its unfair for me to wish we could stay together cos then they wont be living life the way they want to. going our own ways is inevitable but i guess it happening at such a young age made it slightly worse. hopefully one day we'll all gather again, and still be friends, even though we all live different lives now, we still come together again as very good frens, yeah sorta like meeting at the crossroads and just comparing what one another has done with their lives. and seeing if anyone of us have forgotten one another. now that would be pretty awesome.


i'll see you at the crossroads, so you wont be lonely

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

dont ask me why but today was just a good day. as in, it probably was the first day that felt like a proper school day.but still, i enjoyed it due to various factors
well i actually had kwite a relaxed timetable today but i went for as many lectures as i could go for and you know what the end result is? i only have to go school frm 11-1230 tomorrow and from 9 to 1030 on thursday for bio and chem respectively.haha damn good..
ok must tell you..i had this teacher, she teaches me maths 1(theres maths 1 and maths 2)..and i was absolutely frightened by her. she was like nearly 1.9m tall, and she was as wide as a bus, im not kidding. and she talked in this low voice that my friend kelvin and i were pondering on whether she was a man or not. and she kept sweating! i mean..it was kwite amusing yet gross at the same time la.
okok then kelvin and i got damn bored so we started making cigarettes with the tram ticket and stupid me actually managed to punch a staple bullet into my finger and it started bleeding like mad.. so thats how smart i am! first i locked myself out, then i staple my own finger.
ok todae was fun cos i played soccer with many people la. the trinity people were playing so i asked wei an to come along and then the two of us played in jaya and mulia's team so effectively, with the four of us together on one team, it sure as hell was one-sided. but it was damn fun just to kick around la..cos im getting damn fat anyway...from eating all this over-sized aussie meal portions...
and for a cruel twist of fate, when i thought my day was so wonderful, something bad happened. i was damn hungry and i wanted to go microwave a can of baked beans to eat but some cartoon at my boarding complex spilt chemical x onto the floor so theres no entry allowed into the kitchen. so i was damn hungry with nothing to eat and i was scared to go downstairs to 7-eleven to buy food cos i was scared i would lock myself out again. but in the end, i plucked out my courage and managed to make the daunting venture down to 7-eleven, and bought a box of arnotts biscuits.haha what a brave person i am!

yeah thats basically it..life in melbourne is awfully fun although slightly less happening then singapore.. still, i was never one for chionging and stuff so this place is really great for me.i might even wanna settle down here but depending on the girl i marry, she may have something to say bout that.. and knowing me, i'm sure to give in so i hope i marry someone who doesnt mind living in melbourne
oh haha im gonna be a doctor! so exciting rite!! yeah it just came to me during the subject talk you know, like i was so into taking law all this while but like i was thinking that since my parents are both doctors, and i liked listening to people tell me their problems, i guess medicine might be my calling after all. but what the heck its so damn tough so i might not even get in. still it hasnt stopped me from going around campus ordering people to address me as dr tan.
oHHH!! and that day on the soccer field, one guy got injured so it was my chance to show my medical skills. they made way for me and i took a detailed look.....this was a job for the physiotherapy student. see! my diagnosis was damn good la! haha anyway just a gentle reminder, i miss all you guys back in singapore...lots of love from here alrite? and i hope ALL of you guys do well for Os (even adam..have faith ok!!)

Monday, February 23, 2004

ohh and i forgot to say hi to michgoh my dearest michie! haha was talking to her online just now so i just thought it would be nice to say hi and acknowledge the fact that shes one of those nice people who still keep in contact with me?
haha hi mich..dont think youre damn cool too cool for me ok? haha see ya soon


haha its almost 1am now but today,i shall finally conclude the tributes to friends which i wanted to do before i left.yeah shall talk about ms karen lim meixian today.
i think i have too much to say so i hope she wont mind me just summarising everything.i shall write in the format that i did for hoon.

thanks for always caring despite the circumstances
thanks for always being someone i could count on when i needed help
thanks for teaching me SS over sms
thanks for giving me advice when i was lost
thanks for encouraging me when i felt that there wasnt any meaning in life(or marriage for that matter)
thanks for making me feel good about who i actually am
thanks for just talking nonsense bout robbing banks and stuff
thanks for making my eyes feel bigger
thanks for being so sweet and patient
thanks for being so loving and concerned
thanks for helping me in my faith and my walk with God
thanks for introducing me to lousy songs like 'Hey ya'
thanks for listening to me when i told you of good songs like 'wherever you will go'
thanks for supporting the All Blacks especially when i told you England would win
thanks for the goodbye gift(and i dont have ah beng hair excuse me)
thanks for helping me get closer to my friends eg adam and azad
thanks for supporting me when everyone was against me
thanks for being the inspiration for my many lame poems and songs(which you call 'lousy')
thanks for putting up with my teasing
thanks for eventually drawing the line when you needed to
thanks for being so nice even when i was annoying
thanks for helping me choose my little cousin's present(and she liked it alot)
thanks for that nite of star-gazing(and trying to show me the big dipper eh)
thanks for forgiving me for what i did(i hope you forgave me anyway)
thanks for the many dates(or should i say outings)
thanks for letting me cook for you(it was good rite!)
thanks for the memories which i'll keep close to my heart
and basically, thanks for everything...
there's so many more things to say but its not needed cos i cant really put them into words right now and it would be better left private too.
this girl's a diamond, a gem, a whatever, but she'll never acknowledge that..and i suppose thats what makes her shine even more...(like the full moon and the stars..she'll knoe what im talking about :P)

Saturday, February 21, 2004

hahah the last 3 hours of my life were officially the most amusing moments of my life ever! let me tell you why...
at 1900hr,i left my room deciding to get do down to kfc to takeaway my dinner and bring it back to eat, thus all i wore was a polo, jeans and slippers. while reaching the staircase, i felt for my handphone instinctively. it was there. and then my wallet.it was there too. relieved, i continued to walk down before halting to a stop and feeling my left hand pocket.MY KEYS!!!!!! haha yeah i left my keys in my room and as i locked it from the inside, i was officially locked out of my room. haha this sucked so i quickly messaged wei an but lo and behold, he didnt receive either message.so i just ate my dinner at kfc but it was so freaking cold as i sat on the outside that i went to 7-eleven to get a large cappucino which tasted HORRIBLE.but at least it kept me warm. and then i realised the inside of kfc was pretty warm so i bought another coffee which tasted even worse! but at least i was allowed to sit inside so i kept warm.
then i waited at the entrance of my boarding complex before someone actually opened the door after 10 minutes, so i was already kwite numb. thankfully i had the common sense to call wei an but he was at a dinner and couldnt come to my rescue. so my next door neighbour yew wen came home, and the kind soul that he is, let me into his room till wei an came.
then, i decided to call peter nanos, my boarding manager who came to open my room for me at a fee of $50 cos it was after hours. ohwells, at least im back here. haha it was quite fun actually. think it was even more exciting that funorama la.
ohwells, hi shumin and minyi, the only two pple who bothered to reply me while i was stuck alone at kfc.


since today is acjc funorama and i cant be there,i shall stick to the theme of acjc by tributing me best fren in acjc, shah azad...who hails from saudi arabia.nope im just kidding, hes from singapore actually.(where else?)

okok nuff crap, let me start.haha when i walked into barker on the first day of school, fresh from my past as a cheena catholic high primary boy,i must say it was kwite a cutural shock for me. all these snobbish ac bastards with thier noses in the air, thinking they were so high and mighty. haha till now i still maintain the fact that kwite a large percent of ac pple are so so damn snobbish. thankfully im blessed with frens who arent.anyway, making friends sure was a mean task cos all of them already knew one another from their days in acjs or acps and a weirdo like me from catholic high, really didnt have any friends. so i went thru my first 2 days in school kwite the loner(like i am rite now in trinity haha). then, one day this FAT malay guy came up to me and said 'eh you're the guy on tv rite?'. haha and i said no although i do look like many celebrities hahaha. but well, as it turns out, that was azad's way of breaking the ice. from then on, azad was this friend i had, probably my first real friend in barker.
haha and on to orientation camp, i tell you, i never met a lamer shit in the world man. sample of azads jokes are as follows:

the man jump off the airplane why he die? then anyone will reply 'cos the man never wear parachute' and azad would be like 'yes very guuuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssssss', short for bagus i think. and he continued with stuff like the man cross the road why he die,the man touch the alligator why he die, ohh you get the idea. if you are shaking your head in bewilderement, imagine actually watching him say it in person.
ok azads best ghost story ever was the story bout the ghost air con. this air con, no matter how, you cant turn it on. but in the middle of the night at exactly 3am, it will suddenly on and then ...............................
....................................it will say................................................................................................ selamat hari raya.....
i almost died when i heard that one.

and as azad and i had the same passion for soccer, we got really close and stuff.ate recess together, sat near each other in class, yeah and we always played on the same team for soccer. haha yeah and on we went so sec2 and in the same class again, it was just damn fun la. haha but then, like all friends, there comes a period of time when they quarrel. and azad and i quarelled at the end of sec2 la. then we were different class in sec3 but we finally became friends in sec4 and ever since then, azad has grown into one of my closest friends.
azads always there to pick up the phone when i need someone to talk to. when i need to tell him a particular worry of mine, or to plain talk cock, azad is always there. azad listens and azad helps. unlike the lousy adam who just says ok and then shifts the conversation back on himself.
azad has really helped me alot this year and i dont have to say what exactly he helped me with but both of us know and thats good enough. azad, although cant really understand my predicament, can however sympathise with me. the thing i enjoy most bout azad's company is his ability to just listen to me say whatever i need to say, without saying anything with regards to himself. he knows i need my time and space to just throw out all my problems and he doesnt interrupt me. he knows for that period of time, its my turn to speak and he wont say anything. cos he knows when its his turn to pour out his woes, i wont interrupt him too. its this unspoken understanding that we share. we never talked bout it before, but it just falls into place all so nicely. azad is my closest confidante, the one i tell everything to. and i do mean EVERYTHING.
he might even know my secrets better than i do.
haha and azad, is one heck of a decent guy. has his priorities rite, he loves his family despite being annoyed with them sometimes, hes damn filial and one heck of a brother. he is loyal and trustworthy and, he will NEVER backstab his friends. he is charming and amusing, with an amazing sense of humour. almost everyone likes him, not to mention azad sits on the COOL table in recess with the cool clan. what more needs to be said bout a guy whom i totally treasure?
hahaha and i knoe this girl doesnt even know me, let alone read my blog, so i shall say this... PY!! please open your windows and open your eyes. you have the best guy in the world rite in front of you so dont let him walk away, cos hes seriously close to giving up. dont break his heart cos its not like it hasnt been broken before. thats all i can say. miss PY, treasure what you have, cos you'll never knoe how much you'll miss it till its gone far away.
so azad azad, forgive me for not telling the world what a great soccer player and drummer you are. i hope you forgive me for only telling the world what a great friend you are.

Friday, February 20, 2004

okokok since im bored, i shall do more tributes. and once again its another twin-share tribute.today i shall talk bout 2 ppl i barely know, but they feel like my best friends already. its weird how i knoe them for only a month, yet its seems we've been best friends all our lives. its kinda cool though cos i really feel close to them. so here goes...
titus goh is up first. what can i say, i didnt really know what to say to this guy at first cos of certain circumstances(which i shant say unless u ask me in private). he was friendly enough but something held me back from getting to know this guy more as a fren. but i happened to go out very often with azad and keith and as they hung out with him, it was no choice of mine but to talk to titus.and thank goodness for that cos titus and i share a certain inclination to being sensitive which none other of my frens have.
titus has a really tough guy exterior, looks like nothing can get him down, looks like nothing can make him sad, looks as though he has no freaking emotions. but thats what i said it was...exterior.
titus has an interior of a very sensitive person with a hell lot of emotions. haha this guy and i were on the roadside sitting on the kerb and sharing stories of the heart. and that was one of the most emotionally hearterning times ive ever had.cos it was really a heart to heart talk with someone who could relate to me and nothing was held back. we just banged every heartache we had onto each other for one another to help lessen the burden.
titus is one person who can see why i wont give up on her. unlike the rest, he knows she means the world to me. he knows what its like to be rejected, and thus, he knows how ive been feeling for the last 4 years of my life.
i also wanna mention that titus is an amazing guitarist who one day will form a band with me, azad and maybe adam and we'll trash good charlotte.and for the sake of your lungs, stop ok?
hopefully one fine day in the future, titus and i will sit on the kerb by the roadside, and have happier stories to tell one another.hopefully we'll both have rings over our fingers, and our troubles will be that of our respective annoying children.hopefully one day, that day will come...


and then, comes mr chong.owen chong fullstop who has no chinese name. mann i miss this guy. what do i say to a guy so popular and eligible it makes me jealous half the time. but the other half of the time, im honoured just to have his friendship.
i dont talk to owen much, but when i do, it seems right. haha most frens are made. from the start, it needs to be cultivated and after a long long gestation period, the foundation has been set.you have got yourself a great friend.once i a long long time, someone crosses your path and you two hit it off straight away. everything just falls into place and its as though the friendship was meant to be. like it was written in the stars.
i cant be certain, but i think ive found that friend in owen. and i would like to believe he is that special friend.i mean, it really seems like it was meant to be. back in our catholic high primary days(haha my embarassing past) we never talked. and when wallace brought him to church, we only said hi and bye but nothing else. its like we had so many chances to be friends and we let all of them slip by. and by some divine intervention, we were given another chance. and this we didnt let it pass. it was as though God would make us cross paths all our lives until we became friends. thankfully, we did at the age of 16.
owen is a true friend, i mean when i was drunk he was drunk! and even then, he still came to check on me and that nite, he helped me with you-know-who.
ahh owen is so blessed with many things but hes so humble he refuses to acknowledge it. so since he doesnt acknowledge it, i will tell him now. owen, you are one damn amazing individual alrite. you are so talented, not only in your sporting abilities, but you are talented in your characteristics too. loyal, always willing to lend an ear, concerned, and a whole lot more.
owen have more confidence in yourself, cos even though you cant see it, i can. you are like one of the most eligible of my friends, so have abit of faith in yaself.
well im ranting on so maybe i'll stop, but owen is indeed a friend. someone i cant wait to get to know better. haha owen maybe i was wrong bout us meant to be friends. but even if we arent, then lets just do it the long way then. many years of cultivation and gestation, and when the foundation is set, we'll be able to call each other great friends. well, whatever it is, long way or short way, im pretty sure we'll end up friends in the end.take care buddy.


haha the nonsense blogger is back!hello, and how do u do?! greetings from melbourne and for all u thick skinned ppl, YES! i miss you alrite...
anyway,before i tell you about melbourne,i have unfinished business to do. for the last few days in spore, i didnt do my daily tributes even though i had people to tell you about. they were the dearest ppl to me so i knew that i didnt need write them a tribute in order for them to know how much they mean to me. however, i realised its not very fair to them, since they're the most important people to me.so here goes...
for today, i'll talk bout 2 people.2 people that have impacted my life largely, and not many of u might knoe them cos they're my brother's frens whom ive come to knoe, but i still wanna talk bout them.

firstly, born in s.korea, bred in many many places, established himself in spore, but is a true yellow malaysian, comes RJC's prom king nominee(and runner up), mr lim wei an. for all the girls who saw this realli cute guy with damn cool hair seeing me off at the airport, haha! yes this is the one...
i first got to know wei an when both our soccer teams merged. on the pitch, wei an and i are similar, yet different. im the right winger and hes the left winger so thats pretty cool. both of us are in charge of ALL the set pieces. we both take turns to take the corners.we both scissors paper stone to take the freekicks.however, i have scored 3 and he has scored none so obviously next time, theres no need to scissor paper stone anymore ok wei an? haha but he has scored many long shots from outside the box that make even me drool. i used to be first choice penalty kick taker but after i missed my first one, my stupid brother appointed wei an as first choice penalty kick taker. and that idiot hasnt missed yet. damn it! =P
wei an dribbles more on tricks and twists and turns whereas i just run. and believe when i say wei an is a DEITY at tricks. he can probably win nike freestyle tournaments.
haha ohh and wei an keeps winning me in tennis even though im the better player??i mean hows that! i ace him more, my groundstrokes are better, i attack the net more often, and i did two one handed back hand winners to him. all in one game, and i still lost 4-6,3-6,1-6. lifes not fair...
well aside from football and tennis, i have no idea how, but wei an and i have grown really close.we confide in each other and pour out our respective sorrows. i dont knoe what i'll do without wei an cos hes just very good at listening and understanding how i feel.everytime, my brother(dan) has a party, wei an still will find the to sit down and talk talk with me, or have a drink or two.
imagine how glad i was when i found out that wei an was coming to melbourne uni. and that all seemed so distant when we talked bout meeting up in melbourne and it seemed a long way more and right now, im gonna meet him for dinner in awhile's time.
since i didnt realli leave him back in spore unlike my other frens, i wont write such a long tribute for him.
but believe when i say, there's so much more to this guy.he's a buddy.


and then we go on to someone whos REALLY watched me grow up. from this really ugly bucked tooth primary5 boy, to this not so ugly boy now, i wanna talk bout mr koh hoon kiat, whom i call HOON!
hoon got to knoe dan in sec1 when they were in the same class but hoon only came over very often in sec2 when he dropped by my house alot.;)
sigh its really amazing how long ive known hoon.he still has the same hairstyle though.. haha only kidding hoon.hoon has ALWAYS been there for me. when i need someone to play tennis with, hes probably the first one i turn to.(or maybe wei an, they're both my tennis kakis).hoon is also this amazing soccer player who almost has many tricks as me.
but i dont wanna talk bout hoon's soccer or tennis, cos they're not what makes him so important to me. the fact that he cares about me makes me feel lucky to knoe this guy. the times he stayed over were so(im trying to make it sound not gay)heartening, to just let out every woe and trouble and have someone to comfort you. the many times we were both lying on DIFFERENT mattresses and i would be crying and he would feel like crying but of cos didnt. but i could tell he was sad, cause i was sad. its this kind of friend that isnt a friend, but is really an elder brother. not that i need another one cos dan's the best elder brother i could ever wish for. but hoon just gives me another person to talk to. he wants to know how im doing, he asked how i did for prelims, he asked me this and that, i cant really remember, but its the minor things he does, things a friend doesnt do, but an elder brother does, and i can truly say, i treat him as family.
i wanna sidetrack for a moment and say hi to hoon's girlfren, ruth. she gave me an awesome tribute on her blog which i totally dont deserve.just wanna say a few words. hoon and ruth are the most compatible couple ever, and they set the standard for me and whichever girl to follow. they are oh-so deserving of one another and it warms my heart to see my 'elder brother' find such a fine girl who loves him as much as he loves her. shes kind hearted and everything hoon could ever wish for. just like hoon is kind hearted so i guess its a good match. looks like i'll have to find a girl who cries as much as i do:)
hoon words cant express my gratitude for just always being there. haha shit i feel like crying now seriously. none of dan's friends treat me as well as u do(altho all of them treat me super well which shows how close hoon and i are).
thanks for all the words of advice and wisdom.
thanks for the times u just keep quiet and heard my every sorrow.
thanks for the times u showed me the way to go when i was going the wrong way.
thanks for trying to teach me a maths.
thanks for playing tennis wif me even though i whip ya ass everytime.
thanks for being another elder brother.
thanks for the many football matches we've watched together
thanks for hating arsenal.
and most importantly, thanks for being hoon...

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

my letter 'yew' isnt working so i'll replace it with '>'

how are yo>.. get the idea??

now that i realised im leaving n 2 days time, ive started to get reaaly sad and depressed. soon i'll be off to a distant land where >nfamiliarity awaits me.
and im leaving spore on a bad note with everyone. i called sh>ling twice b>t she didnt pick >p. maybe shes asleep...
sigh i knoe how she felt now.. its hard when someone yo> treas>re hears something bo>t yo>, and then doesnt hear yo>r side of the story b>t makes >p his or her mind abo>t yo>.
its even harder when someone yo> love lies to yo>... sh>ling im sorry alright..

today i wanna talk bovt gn shvmin..okok i will replace 'yew' with 'v' cos it looks more alike.. i want to thank shvmin for everything she has done for me..
she has stood by my every choice and decision and thovgh she has not always agreed with what i did, she knows my reasons for doing so, and svpports my wholeheartedly..
shes always there when im down to jvst hear me ovt and give me advice. she always seems to have something nice or thovghtfvl to say which makes the problem easier to talk bovt..
shvmin is seriovsy vnderrated, and all yov blinf gvys ovt there, whats keeping yov? shvmin is probably anyones dream girl bvt somehow none of the nimwits ovt there have realised that...
shvmins adorable, intellgent, honest, concerned and a whole bagfvl more of things which if i said wovld take vp to mvch space..
most of all, shes wonderfvlly patient and azad, keith and adam, there is a limit to her patience.haha so while yov gvys only tease her ovt of good natvredness, know when to stop ok??
shvmin has been arovnd not long enovgh from my point of view(me only getting to know her in the middle of janvary). however she has been arovnd to share my pizzas, chicken sovp, shisanyaos, and mostly, my lavghter and tears. shvmin has probably seen me at my highest of highs, as well as my lowest of lows.
withovt shvmin, my life wovld seriovsly be in a mess. shes like yoohoo glve, even thovgh shes not very strong and in the end, i end vp breaking down again, shes jvst enovgh to get me back together and pvll me throvgh on every single occasion.
theres so mvch more i covld say bovt shvmin bvt shes so noble she doesnt need me to broadcast it to everyone. so there... if gn shvmin walks along yovr way, go get to knoe her...
doing that has definitely impacted my life

Saturday, February 07, 2004

a drunken man is a stupid man...

thanks to all who came for the party last nite and the thought of all you guys makes me know im seriously gonna miss all of you when im gone.
im not going to go into great detail what happened last nite cause some of the things i did were downright embarassing, and i also embarassed someone who means the world to me.

ok i wasnt drunk but really high.

in a way, im glad i got high so i actually managed to say all i wanted to. and it felt good to release everything, all my bottled up feelings and stuff. but maybe i said too much. and the fact is i was totally aware of what i was saying.
because i was high, she spent the nite with me and it was my best nite ever, but at what consequence? i didnt want the night to end cause i knew after tonight, things just wont be the same anymore. truth be told, i didnt sleep the whole nite through to the morning. i had gone to on the fan and she had occupied the whole couch so i just went to sit on the floor where i just spent my time watching her sleep. all i could do was smile sadly, wishing every morning was like this. well, this was the only time i would ever get to just sit down and watch her as she sleeps, which is another reason why i didnt want the nite to end.
things are just different. cause and effect. every action has a consequence, but at the end of the day, im glad of what i do, cause even though it was a silly thing to do, i let her know once again how much she means to me. whatever choice you make, just stick by it even though you may regret it, and no one will blame you. i found out last nite that titus and i share the same life motto.

'i rather regret something i did do, then something i didnt do'

now if only she had the same motto. this motto is the reason i gave myself for going to australia. the door opened by itself so theres no way im walking past it. wish she felt the same too.

someone once told me he knew of a girl who had the best guy in the world right in front of her but she let him walk away. sad isnt it?

Thursday, February 05, 2004

i am on the phone with sarah wong li en now... in case you dont know who that is, she is better known as swong. haha she made me write that shes my darling...
swong is a very inattentive person over the phone. she doesnt listen to me but she keeps on typing some story. still i forgive swong cause shes really nice.and she listens really well.

today was a good day, in a way. i did nothing in the morning but i went ac in the afternoon to meet azad and adam. there i met karen, shumin, freddy, edwin and of course, my good friend owen. and then we loitered for awhile where we met all sorts of people like xinghui,who was so blur he walked past me without saying hi,and people like nafis who gave me the secret handshake and declared he was acting as hades for arts nite.
well arts nite was really impressive and the performances were not bad but the one i liked most was when the two teachers sang 'love me' and 'more than words'. it was amazing and their harmonising was fabulous. it was seriously good mann...
yeah then we went kfc at holland v and karen and keith left la, but after that it was really hilarious, with azad and adam telling jokes the whole time, and edwin,freddy,shumin, owen and me were in stitches. and edwin really dances well...and all of them learned the meaning of '---SKEY-BAWL'...
recently i've been using the phone lots lots..i talked to azad just now for nearly an hour and im not the phone with my beloved swong now. whos having lots of problems with her com shes screaming into my ear now over the phone. so no doubts about it..shes a pleasant docile lil girl.
okok i knoe i've delayed my friend tribute for damn long but thats cause all my friends suck! haha nah only joking i just got so many things on my hands so be patient rite?
see you soon...


things arent what they always seem to be.. im feeling awfully guilty now.. on the outside things seem one way..but they might be different actually..never jump to conclusions... never...
for whoever is reading this right now, i take back what i said bout people changing in jc... at least, until i find out the truth..
gonna have to postpone my daily friend tribute again cause things are quite complicated now..
take care reader...

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

ohh ohh i forgot to say..
shumin thinks i look like jang hyuk and karen,azad,keith and adam agree..
haha so from now on..call me jang..or hyuk..i dont know which one is his first name..


had a nice nice lunch today at sakae sushi at wheelock with lots of people.sat with karen,azad,adam and shumin and two more tables were occupied by titus, keith, hanyang, jamie, matthew, joan, xueying and her friend who i dont knoe.
every meal at sakae sushi is hilarious. our favourite waiter joshua toh was there today and it was just damn damn funny la. adam couldnt eat sushi properly and like all his sushi rice ended up in his soya sauce dish. azad wore his uniform like a freaking nerd la and he purposely ate messily and ended up with a mayonnaise moustache.and karen just couldnt stop laughing.OH and the best part was when adam ordered 10 orders of crabstick sushi,which is like the whole crabstick on the sushi.and one order came with two sushi so adam had 20 of those. and they charge for wastage so adam basically had to eat all of that but azad helped him with two pieces and before that, adam took some other kinds of crabstick stuff off the conveyor belt so i think after today, adam wont wanna see crabstick for quite awhile. and shumin shot oreo cheesecake out of her nose. it was grossssss........
i love the fried tofu at sakae sushi and azad and i both love the takoyaki..we ordered like..four orders of it la.. ohh and then i think from keith's table, they soaked the wet towelette in soya sauce, put in on a plate, added some spring onions on top, covered it and put it on the conveyor belt! and the worse thing was that it looked like real food? it would have been so funny if someone actually attempted to eat it.
haha and josh toh is damn cool la..he had this fantastic tray of desserts which he brought around from table to table...and hes so cool he refused to take photo with azad although i got to shake his hand.. amazing yeah..
then quite a number of them left and we walked walked around before going to taka macs to sit down and talk cock and saying stuff like 'USA' and 'DBA'...haha only idiots like keith and adam can think of shit like that..
ohh then wenhao came and along with shumin and adam, we went mogu where adam has a damn interesting time la! first he showed how a mogu teddy bear could be boy..then girl.. then boy again... then girl again.. then he was so impressed by this sofa bed he lied down on it and lo and behold, the saleswoman was looking down on him and he was still saying things like, 'eh gab, try..its really damn comfortable'..haha poor adam must have got a shock of his life when he noticed the saleswoman and he was quick enough to pretend to be really interested..he probably talked to her for 10 min...

"my dad said hes gonna buy me a new bed so im looking around...how much is this one?"

and i bought new shoes today which adam and shumin didnt like cause they insisted it looked empty and was missing something...yeah like duh..cause i wasnt wearing socks.. haha i sure hang out with weirdos..
anyway they were nikes and they were orange and white...
many people are amazed they're invited to my party on friday.. i mean both michgoh and aguz said "huh im invited???" when shumin asked them to come..fine..michgoh and aguz are officially NOT invited.. haha ohwells only kidding..

i think azad and adam are coming over to jam tomorrow which is pretty cool... azad is a really good drummer and adam just learns the bass so fast its amazing..
haha i wanted to like post my guest list here so if you're name is below youre invited on friday and if your name isnt, you're not..but its quite bad rite? so i shant...
i feel like singing karaoke now..i sang by myself on monday at home and it was damn fun!!!! but it was difficult to sing songs like 'somewhere out there' cause its a duet..so im officially looking for a karaoke duet partner
i'll do my friend tribute later but today, its gonna be low yi leong...


i didnt blog yesterday so sorry if you're a regular reader(i doubt i have any though). i was just too tired and yesterday was not very special.
i just realised how jc changes people.the transition from allboys/allgirls to co-ed really does wonders. whether its the hormones or whatever, people just aint the same when they go to jc(or MI for friends like adam whom im trying to relate to).
suddenly,all they wanna do is get accepted.they wanna be in the cool clique and would give a hand and a leg just to be members of the cool clan.they go all the way to suck up to the coolios so they will finally get accepted.and after that? they forget the friends they had who used to be there for them through thick and thin. those loyal friends become irrelevant to them for the sole reason that they arent cool enough. i have been like that before. it wasnt exactly cause they werent cool enough but cause they just werent say good friends with my new friends. when i started hanging out with eric,adam and genxian, i just kinda neglected people like lennard and nigey who i spent the better part of my upper sec life having fun with. and i realised what an ass i must have been and the fact they still regard me as a friend makes it all the more worse. im trying to make it up now by constantly talking to them.they are after all, two very good friends.
but some people i guess dont realise how they're acting like now.they just change,and either they refuse to acknowledge it, or they blatantly dont realise they have changed. they think they are the same person and they tell you they are the same person and because they're your friends for ages, you would like to believe them. but then the next thing you know, they do something which totally screws up your belief in them.
now that they're popular, they have a position of power and think they have the right to screw someone's whole 2 years of jc life up by telling everyone to not like that person. no one has the right to do that. not to make anyones two years of jc life miserable. i would like to think none of my friends are like that, but i thought wrongly. i have already been proven wrong and whoever does anything of the sort, i despise them like mad.
seriously,being in the cool clan is fine. but just keep your noses out of other peoples business. if you think you guys are superior to the other jc people,thats alright seriously.since your egos are already superior to theirs.but just mind your own damn business, cause no one asked you to get involved. and if anyone relies on the cool clan to 'gang up' on a particular someone, that person is the most pathetic thing on earth.
hi wenhao, if you're reading this, you have my full support and friendship. you know that between the two, i would choose you, simply cause you have done nothing to deserve this, and its my fault, really. and you have been one person that has always been honest with me(even telling me my hair looks like shit :P) which is the simple reason why i will side with you. cause you're not in the wrong.
and shumin too, who's having troubles with her class? dont worry, you still got a special bunch of friends in ac you can turn to. they all can be asses but i suppose you just have to tolerate them during school and after that, you're free.
in a way im glad im not going jc?cause i dont suppose i could live with all this 'trying to be popular' stuff, cause i was never good at it even in secondary school. and its all so superficial anyway. ohwells, go get a bunch of close friends who like you for who you actually are, and jc will be a blast.

and adam..change target k..shes not worth your time..

i miss eric..whenever i needed someone to talk to, he would be there but nowadays, theres no one in my life to fill up that void.all of the rest have school so its not their fault they have to sleep early. but still, theres a gap in my life thats been there since eric left. there are somethings that i just cant talk to anyone about except eric.
azad and keith who want to skip training to spend time with me.. what can i say.. you guys are the best, but i wouldnt advise you to do it, even though i would love to spend time with you guys...

happy 17th birthday ms chen minyi...

i shall do my tribute on a seperate entry..

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

ok ok i just finished my daily friend tribute so now i shall write what happened today.(or rather yesterday seeing its past twelve already)

woke up at 9 plus after just two plus hours of sleep and went to RI to play soccer with my bro and his friends. only eight people came so i was 4 on 4 which was still rather exciting.today i was abit crazy cause still feeling a bit down, i played like a man possessed, seeing that soccer is the only way i forgete my troubles temporarily. i modelled my game after scott parker cause i really like the way he plays and i have to admit, i looked like a clown for the first 20 min. after that i settled down and played much much better, running for every ball and tiring myself out.
after that, hoon,matt,wei an,dan and me went to s11 at bishan for lunch and seeing im on a diet, i just had yong tau foo without noodles. just soup.after that, i shared cab home with wei an and we were talking bout,what else, our love lives.got home, took a hot shower and then adam,keith,azad and azad's pri6 brother azim came over.adam went to fetch shumin from her house and we started our jamming. today, 'swing swing' really sounded darn good but i got sick of it after awhile owing to the fact we played it at least 12 times. 'wherever you will go' was not badd too and after i taught adam how to play the bass part for 'blurry' we played that too and it sounded rather nice. adam really picks up the bass fast and its quite amazing, seriously. karen then came over. oh shit i hope nobody for sc3 is reading this blog cause karen and azad were meant to be at the sc3 party. haha shit sorry guys, if i screwed on you. my deepest apologies.
after that,i dared azad to bet with me dinner that i could juggle the soccer ball 50 times on my first attempt. he took me up and damn he won cause i only managed 35.stupid really cause at first the stakes were 30 times but azad was smart enough not to take it up.of course, what was i expecting from a 9 pointer. ohh and keith really fakes playing the guitar well. it really looks as though he is playing when he's not but dont tell anyone.
they all went for dinner but karen stayed cause my parents were giving her a lift to pasir ris since both our brothers had to check in to army. yeah she finally tasted my cooking.not bad rite! haha and then it was hell watching the start of armageddon with her cause she couldnt remember anything and kept asking 'huh got this part meh?' and 'how come i dont remember?'. haha yeah we then got to pasir ris where we dropped her and dan off. haha dan looks really suave in the uniform but i cant imagine myself in army fatigues really. but the army is pretty cute and i was modelling it around for awhile while dan was doing his bootlaces.
my big brothers all grown up now and he's in the army.really cool cause hes someone ive seen all my life and even though hes older than me, ive seen him since he was 2 years old so ive seen him mostly as a child and now that hes a national servicesman really makes me wonder how fast time has past and we're all grown up now. soon i'll gone and we'll see each other even less but it doesnt matter cause our relationship has already been built on such strong grounds, we hate to see each other go but we know its inevitable and we love each other enough to be able to let go. not many siblings could say the same bout themselves and i thank God for mum and dad who brought me into this world to share my life with dan.
ohh and when i came home, i walked bout my dogs.first was nicky and with her, it was just a leisurely walk with a bit of running in between just to keep her fit. then i changed up and ran with marco, and as i havent walked him in quite awhile, i was in for a rude shock. hes almost as strong as a stallion. he pulled me the moment he got out and i had a hard time controlling him for the first few minutes. after that it was fine as when he's running, he doesnt really pay attention to distractions, like other dogs. havent ran in a long while so i must say im quite pleased with myself for running today. gotta keep fit now cause when im over in australia, my time spent excercising will be much less.
ohwells i shall sign off here for now, but today was a happy day.just wanna let you know. i dont always have sad days in case you were wondering.by the way,soccer helps!

Monday, February 02, 2004

todays lucky friend is currently not in singapore cause he has already gone to melbourne where hes studying now.mr brian chandra zhang kang wei(or something like that) will be the person i tribute today so here goes.
brian and i, along with joshua were classmates throughout the whole of our secondary school life and even with a few misunderstandings,if i could change things i wouldnt change a single bit cause with chandra and josh it was a hell of a fun time.
brian, one of my very first friends at barker, we got to know each other at orientation camp at the half-demolished barker campus(remember??) and it was here,where apart from hearing azad's nonsense jokes, making fun or mr bau and mr tang, and getting scolded by ng may gay, where brian and i started a friendship that has overcome many obstacles to what it is today.
we had many petty fights which resulted in us not talking to each other for periods stretching as long as a few months. brian was the biggest buaya you could find in sec2(except maybe eric was worse). brian easily had 400 jies and 400 meis, i mean thats seriously so extra. i couldnt stand him cause it was just out of point and loser-ish. and brian was really insecure and lacked self confidence. this probably resulted in him getting so many jies and meis. i despised him for this.
but we got through this and resumed our friendship up till the 3rd term of sec3 when our different cliques in class resulted in us waging wat against one another again.however, 2003 saw what effectively was the foundation of the friendship we have now.
for that whole year, brian and i didnt have a single argument at all and we were always there for one another if the need ever arised. when i got sacked from the prefectorial board, brian almost wanted to resign in protest.even though he knew he was about to be promoted to senior prefect. but then again, we both knew his head was on the chopping board too. as long as you were slightly cool, the prefectorial board didnt want you anymore.i think i sound really bitter but i really am not.im glad i got sacked cause it opened up alot more avenues for me and it gave me a freedom i never possesed since the june of 2000 when i first became a prefect.
brian agreed on this sentiment so i shall share it. being a prefect kinda gives you lots of honour and a good reputation.the benefits are plenty, but so are the negative aspects(sorry i couldnt find a word which was the opposite of benefits). you have to be a model student who is perfect in every way and one slight mistake can cost you your appointment, which is nonsense really cause who in this world is perfect?
just cause you're a prefect, you're expected to meet every deadline, and kowtow to every teacher, just because you are meant to be someone who takes orders well. heck even my dogs sometimes dont sit on my command so i guess prefects are worse than dogs? if this was the point of view of a non-prefect, than maybe you could say i was being judgemental.but having been a dog for effectively three and a half years of my life(not to mention 2 years in primary school), i suppose my words do have a bit of impartialness in them. hell i did like being a prefect cause of the pride and honour it gave you. but once that badge was on, you couldnt question authority one bit, even though you know damn sure you're right. and the thing is, they like to say how democratic they are, which is really bullshit cause the moment they dont like you, regardless of how well you have been a prefect, they find any cock and bull reason to sack you. before they sacked me, they said they had been planning to promote to senior prefect.and just cause of one incident, my rank could drop so much to being sacked? and you know for what? for cutting the queue during recess...go figure...
im drifting too much from brian so i shall stop there(but i'll resume one fine day trust me), but i feel i should say what i have bout the prefects, cause brian is one of the few who went through all that shit with me and actually knew how different the prefectorial board actually worked, and how they pretended they did. theres only one way to succeed, suck up your way to the top.
brian was one of my study pals for the Os and it was really cool studying with him cause hes a rather intelligent lad. of course i would help him in chemistry, but stuff like physics and chinese, he would always return the favour. remembering all the times at coffee club xpress at wisma or even kap,where we would be mugging our brains out. ok so maybe not kap cause there were too many distractions(or should i say too many mgs girls). brian was my kap buddy after jeffrey left.
brian and i sat together in class quite often last year. most often during lit where the class was free seating and we two english freaks would always like to compete to see whos grasp of the language was better. needless to say, it was me who got a2 for prelims while brian got a b3. haha well he lost to me by only one mark though so tough luck.
during last december,brian and i went out lots, playing pool and just hanging around. really nice to be with as he's so full of laughter. seriously he cracks up at the lamest stuff just like my 'whats the diff between a mosquito and a fly' joke. brian was one of my few very supportive friends who came to watch me perform at induz3 at the rj post prom and for that im grateful cause i was so damn nervous and having friends in the crowd just smiling back at you sure helps to relieve the stress and tension and uneasiness.
im definite that brian and i will continue to be friends for a long long time seeing that we're both studying in melbourne. well he's already there while i'll be going soon. he even smsed me from melbourne to find out how i was doing and its a pleasant suprise that brian turned out to be one of my closest buddies. so until 10 days time where i'll be seeing you again, do take care of yourself, and dont stay out too late on those melbourne streets.


i was meant to stay awake to open the door for my brother but its 6am and hes not home yet. and i didnt sleep.i realised i forgot to do my daily friend tribute so todays friend is hwh or huang wenhao.
i only got to know wenhao last year, but he's already one of my closest friends. i remember the first time i went out with wenhao after church, he left his new handphone in the taxi.haha yeah i must have been the bad luck charm. then everyone else went home so i accompanied wenhao to go to bugis to get his handphone from this lucky soul who returned it. while waiting at macs for the guy, wenhao and i started talking and i felt real comfortable around him. we were both talking bout our respective girl problems and it was cool how we both sympathised with one another.
ever since then,wenhao's been someone i can count on to listen to me whenever i have something i wanna get off my chest. always willing to listen and also has lots to say, which is perfect for me cause somedays i dont feel like talking and just feel like listening.
this year, when i crashed ac orientation i always seemed to see wenhao around and haha we had lots of fun looking out for pretty girls. wenhao is really nonsense to be with la.really lots of irrelevant chatter but wenhao is someone who can hold an intelligent conversation with. he also is a good judge of character just like cassius, and hes never wrong bout anyone's personality. he can sense when a person has changed alot and we both agree on a few people.
wenhao is my guitar/song buddy and whenever he comes over, we spent lots of time singing songs and trying to play bbmak and busted songs haha. moreover, hes the only one in the mahjong team who is close enough to challenge me for the title of best player. unfortunately we have to be fair to girls which is why shumin got elected vice captain. haha only joking shumin!
wenhao calls me to check on me when he knows im really sad or have been crying and hes one of the few people that i can say really treasure the friendship i have with him. i'll miss him lots when i leave, mostly cause hes always been there for me. so cheers hao hao, you're the first non-barker person i write bout man.

and anyway,on another note, all i wanna do is grow old with you.


i want to thank wenhao,adam,azad,and shuling for everything they did for me today.yup adam is this idiot who just makes me happy. azad listens to everything i have to say. wenhao is always looking out for me. and shuling cares alot.so thanks guys.
i was cooped up in my room the whole day except for lunch and dinner.bad bad day la so i dont really feel like writing.'closer to me' by five is a good good song.damn nice lyrics.ohwells im off. hope you people have a good day tomorrow ok...

Sunday, February 01, 2004

last night was probably my longest and most difficult night ever.getting rejected in the past was ok.but talking bout it gave the final realisation that things could never happen.no matter how hard you try, how hard you wish, how hard you pray, somethings arent meant to be.
im glad we talked cause i know now, its not cause i wasnt good enough.sometimes people dont just have the right chemistry and no matter how hard you try, you cant force someone to love you. i suppose you could make them touched, but even so, they cant make themselves love you, if there was never any love to begin with.
last night, i stayed up till four plus listening to nice nice songs. glenn medeiros' 'nothings gonna change my love' was damn nice and the lyrics sure are meaningful.haha and yeah, i listened to 'sunshine' by gabrielle and shes sure been the sunshine in my life.and then i listened to 'jian dan ai' by jay chou which is like a super sweet song and these songs made me smile.even though i was so sad listening to them, they just made me smile cause they made me realise i didnt mind one single bit hurting so much for this girl. cause this girl is one girl who's worth it all. i didnt mind wasting all that love and going through all those emotions cause if it was going to be one girl to waste them on, this was the one that was worth it.i didnt think it was possible but we'll still be friends.

sunshine in my window/thats what you are/my shining star
sunshine making me feel/im on top of the world/telling me i'll go far

peter pan is a great movie anyway.


im in a damn good mood now..drink drink drink..drank drank drank.. drunk drunk drunk...
shumin and michgoh just left and i think they are the nicest people in the world.. they had another appointment but they still came over and spent time with me.. i didnt tell them but it means alot to me.. shumins been always there for me recently since eric left..and heck i only knew michelle today but shes so damn nice even though she gives me shifty looks as though shes senses something fishy is going on

todays friend was going to be alcohol.cause today all my friends have ditched me.adams phone is confiscated
azad has to sleep early, keith is asleep already..when i need them most, they're all nowhere to be found. alcohol is my best friend tonight. but im not gonna be lame. so todays friend will be keith jon lew.
keith and i were acquaintances for a long time.the only memory i have of him in secondary school is when cj him and me went to bertrams house where cj fell in love with bert's 3 year old sister and she was afraid of XO man.
i crashed keith's og this year and this is when i got really close to keith.haha hes damn popular with the girls la. like almost every other girl is in love with him. but keith is a real brother. he puts us as his top priority which is something not many of us can do and for that i respect him. keith is eternally dedicated to the brotherhood and hes always there to give me advice, even when im drunk,smsing him at 12am.
keiths tribunal will be rather short owing to the fact that i only recently got to know him, but this is one friend i'll cherish for a long long time to come.

me

everyone calls me gab
and i'm a goofball of a guy!
i'm a part-time blogger,
and full-time songwriter

i ♥

music
collingwood fc
polaroids
PEANUT BUTTER
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of some interest

my source of knowledge
yum try this!
before i die...
to do at work
magpies

scrapbook entries

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