Monday, February 28, 2005

i could really do with some help and support and words of encouragement instead of all the bitchiness you people are showering me with.

i dont think anyone understands how i feel. everytime i need to talk and i say something, people have an uncanny knack of switching the conversation back to themselves with a "i had the same thing too". yes i know you had the same thing too but cant you just shut up for a minute and listen to me let my frustrations out.

fuck this. its not even day one of letting go and i already feel like im dying.


one love one shot is all we ever got

there's something therapeutic about sitting in your balcony at night looking at the stars. a cup of tea helps too. watching the night sky and how the moon shines so brightly. makes you realise there are many things that make you happy in life.

i miss alot of things about my past. life how i used to wake up to school with a mug of hot chocolate and an otak bun waiting for me at the dining table. and how my dad sent me and dan to school. and how i used to go and find genxian to talk to before school start. and escaping morning assembly to do prefect duty, and being a sec4, ordering the sec1s, like russell, around haha. and going to the other end of the class during lessons to talk to nigel, cause 'boey' and 'tan' are damn far apart, and our stupid form teacher arranged us by index number. and going over to sit next to lennard to talk cock. and finding eric during recess. and stoning through the classes waiting for the school bell to ring. and once school is up, eric, genxian and me used to go lido to watch movies. haha and look at acjc chicks and walk into the barrier.

and im happy that my friends are happy. so maybe my love life isnt the smoothest. but im thankful that eric and azad are very much happily in love. and i hope adam can settle down sometime soon, and that owen eventually finds someone who can make him happy. and hopefully marcwong will update me about his lovelife in due time. for nigey, i hope he finds his courage eventually. and hopefully people like ryan can realise that there's more to life than love. but hopefully soon enough, someone will realise him for his true worth, that he's sweet, sensitive and genuine. so what if he's abit overweight (:P haha). the world is too full of superficiality. but yup, i am really glad most of my friends have something in their lovelives to cheer about.

and so yup, as of today i'm letting go. for all of my friends who have been asking me to do so for ages out of concern for me, thanks for having my best wishes at heart. and for all those who just didnt like the idea of me liking her, guess you can be happy now. laugh all you want but its not like its gonna affect me. maybe one fine day i'll look back and realise some chapters in life arent meant to continue, they're just meant to end there. maybe this is one of those chapters. whatever it is, take care and have a good life.

one love one shot is all we ever got
girl you got me started now im not gonna stop
now slide along side yeah baby thats right
im gonna show you the time of the life
oh pretty girly come and dance with me
move that naughty body come close to me
now slide along side yeah baby thats right
im gonna show you the time of your life

gonna shine like a sunny day
all you girls coming out and play
if you want you can slide my way
let me hear you say ya-ay-ay

Sunday, February 27, 2005

shucks today was an extremely tiring day.erm let's see weian and i switched off many recurring alarms and ended up waking up at 2pm. haha and then we had lunch at macs just down the road, and then we took a tram down to the city. was rushing to play soccer with an's friends but we got sidetracked by the melbourne grand prix road show, which was previously at QV but was today at exhibition square. so the inner tourist in me and weian showed and we purchased a disposable camera to go take pictures of the f1 cars. but sadly, the ferrari which i saw at QV wasnt on show today, but still we managed to take quite a number of nice cars, including alonso's renault.

took a cab to an's place and then we had difficulty getting a cab to go to flemington parade to play soccer. finally got one but he sent us to the wrong place and it took us a further 15mins at least to get another one but at least he sent us to the right place. at first had a genreal kick about with like 15 people a side, but soon 12 of us moved over to the footie field and we played an 11 a side match against theses africans who were damn good. still, the cool weather was brilliant and i had quite a good game, raped the left back inside out. he was so pissed he even elbowed me in the jaw and no it hurts pretty badly but haha too bad for him, i had already made a fool out of him.

went for dinner with weian, nick and san at boba pearl. BAK CHOR MEE haha. then cabbed home and took a good long hot shower. body's aching everywhere but nah its all good. made food just now and jones just got back so we chatted again. haha its so nice chatting to jones and i learnt more about him today.

he can speak abit of chinese cause his father is taiwanese, and he's moving out in semester2. he likes pop, erm doesnt cook back in jakarta where he's from, and oh yar he plays goalie whenever he plays soccer! haha i learnt so much about him today.

so yup, tomorrow's my first day of university. haha its abit daunting but you know eric's right. its another milestone in life, another step towards adulthood. something to mark down and remember cause university after all, is the last stop in the long road of education. and therefore i think it's something i can be proud of, that ive come thus far. i remember being the cheeky one in kindergarten, and then being quite the independant one in primary school. and secondary school is well topsy turvy.
yeah like you know how first day of school is always important. first day of primary school you got a new lunchbox and a new water bottle. first day of secondary school you got a new schoolbag. so on and so forth.

first day of university, im getting myself a new life.

"you're in uni now coolness comes in grades and character not smoking no more"

i'll remember, cel :)

its not everyday

Saturday, February 26, 2005

friday was spent firstly going to school to confirm my timetable. went down to town by tram and the tram ride was awesome. haha cause there were many many gorgeous girls. there was one girl who had to be my age cause she looked old but she was still in school uniform which means yr12 which means 18 this year. haha she was really really pretty.
had tea with hongyi, or rather lunch cause it was my first meal of the day. talked about everything and it was really good to catch up. then erm stoned around cmc with claire, kai, vanessa and rajiv before going to meet weian for dinner. ate at coretto's which i havent had for ages. after that we went to crown. haha sad sad i was winning by so much i even returned weian $200 from the $600 i owed him and i had 4 black chips. 1 black chip = $100 haha but in the end i lost it all. shit lar feel so bad too cause i kinda made weian go and in the end he lost money too.
after that went for macs with him and nick and then we cabbed home. couldnt sleep so we went to some ulu carpark to kick ball. we actually practiced set pieces and haha wow some were amazing. yup surprise in store for the teams we'll play soon. so by the time we stopped it was 7am went to notturno's for breakfast, went back slept till 12pm.
grocery shopping at safeway, cabbed back to burwood. slept somemore, cooked dinner at 9plus which was pretty alright, although not as nice as when i last cooked. still it was alrite and then we just lazed around till now. and im going off to rest and weian's gonna use the comp. will probably write more tomorrow when im at my study table with nothing to do.
gabriel out.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

another lazy day today. but it was good cause i got to talk to helluva lot of people online. lost 2 games of minesweeper flags to hoon what a drag. especially happy got to chat to my two darling lennard and moses. haha really nice since i havent had much opportunity to catch up since i got here.

i put some photos up today, mostly from january and february holiday period so go check it out when you're feeling bored.

and so today i came to the conclusion that despite what people say, and despite the people being very close to us, we should never give up if our heart's telling us not to, or brain or whatever. cause we should only settle for the very best we want. and if one time we decide its okay to settle for second best, then the next time and forever more, we'll feel that settling for something less is fine. and our whole life, we'll only possess second best stuff. and what kinda life would that be? where would all the goals and aims and targets be if we give up halfway?

and i know what the best is to me

i want nothing more
than to sit outside heaven's door
and listen to you breathing

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

today was an extremely fruitful day, even though i like woke up at 12pm, didnt go for orientation(again!!!), and i played yahoo!games for erm around 4 hours haha. cause like after that, i did laundry, went to swim quite a few laps, collected my laundry, ironed my clothes, cooked dinner, ate dinner, did the dishes and i'm here now! haha i guess im finally grown up so you can go tell you-knoe-who now and all she has to do is marry me now. haha im just kidding. but yup i feel ive grown quite mature in just the last week or so since i got here. cause suburbian living means no so convenient.

and the main reason why i did my dishes immediately after i ate cause its not safe in this house to leave your dishes lying around. because of my roommate JONES! lemme tell you about him. while some people have the roommate from hell, sad to say, i have to roommate from heaven. for the last 3 occasions, jones has done my dishes for me. DONE MY DISHES FOR ME! WAH even i wouldnt do my own dishes and he does them for me.

so today i was at the deck smoking when jones walked up the stairs, means he just got home la. and you knoe me, 3 am is my PRIME guitar playing time rite? imran sure knoes that. so yar then we exchanged greetings and then he went...

jones: i heard you play ah the guitar last nite. VERY GOOTTTT!

haha he's damn sweet la. and then like i asked him if he plays any instruments so he told me he wants to play the guitar but his mum didnt allow him last time. that really made me realise how lucky i am. such a simple thing as learning to play the guitar, and some people arent even given that freedom and opportunity. how lucky most of our lives actually are. so then i was like well come over anytime and i'll teach you. and he was like OKAY! THANKEW THANKEW!! seriously man hes the NICEST person in the world. period. and so after i smoked finish, i walked into the house and SURPRISE SURPRISE!! jones was doing my dishes for me again. haha i was like "jones! dont do my dishes for me!!" and he was like "ho ho (its some weird way he laughs) its okay! i like doing dishes!!" i was like ????!!??? so i told him the next time to leave dishes in there and i'll do it for him and he says "NONO DONT NEED!" i seriously feel so bad and i really love the lad.

hahah but he looks really well-behaved! i should ask him if he has a girlfriend and if he doesnt then maybe i shall try to help him spice up his life. haha seeing how i cant help the state my love life is in, then i might as well help others rite.
and the really odd thing is i think he's definitely older than me, but it feels like i'm older. maybe cause ive seen much more of the world than him, so like im more grown up. just feels odd, cause like im always helping him do stuff, and he's always the one saying thankew thankew. weird really just food for thought.

so day by day, im learning to like living here in scotland i mean burwood abit more. but much thanks to jones. so here's my tribute to him that he'll never ever read or know existed. but im really really lucky to have a roommate like him.

Monday, February 21, 2005

todae was a pretty lovely day. weian came back the same time the chemical spill occurred at melbourne airport which so far has hospitalised more than 50 people. went down to town to find him. had lunch and just hung out will around 6 plus. then we went to st kilda's to the beach.

went to find his friends one of them left so it was left with us and nick and william. we played 2 on 2 beach soccer haha it was so damn fun but it was tiring. and i attempted 2 bicycle kicks haha. but we had lotsa and lotsa fun although its so difficult to play beach soccer cause your feet kinda get stuck in the sand. once we were finished, we went down st kilda road to this restaurant for drinks and dinner. really fun time cause st kilda's is really like middle class posh street. so it was really cool and the beach was BEAUTIFUL. i was telling weian it would be the perfect place to bring a girl cause its really beautiful.

went back to weian's place for him to shower and grab his stuff then we cabbed over to my place where he's staying overnight. and we just had the funnest time. cause we were gonna chill at my like house entrance which is a second story deck balcony sort of thing. so at first it was just chairs but then we decided to bring the whole bloody couch out cause the stars were gorgeous we decided to sit there for a while. a while led to an hour plus. haha smokes and peppermint tea and 'the table of sin'. haha so we just moved back in and brought the couch into my room where he's sleeping for the night. so yup.

haha whoever wants to visit just gimme a ring and we'll move the couch into my room and u can sleep there or u can use my bed and i'll take the couch. ohwells im off to rest now after a tiring but blissful day. this indeed will be a special memory on a very very normal occasion.

gabriel out :)


i dreamt of you again last night, seriously. if this isnt meant to mean anything, tell me what is.

but the really cool thing was this dream was a combination of alot of things. haha now i think of it its a really cute and silly dream. there were all the sweet sweet boring yada yada parts. but then there was a part when my mum asked about you, which is something eric is getting now. then i remember this two man advising to get vodafone prepaid somewhere along, which is what ryan told me to get last night.

haha yup so its 12 and i just got up, probably missed half of ths first day of orientation but haha shouldnt be a problem. orientation only, all they do is talk cock.

okie okie bathe and then go find a convenience store man.

good luck for terms everybody.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

remember that night you wore that dress
it flowed through our lips
drink after drink
and kiss after kiss
im still holding on day after day
dont run away

i want love to carry me through
can you tell me what im supposed to do

what i need now is an honest answer, to make things better
you can see now my hands are tied and i surrender
so i'll wait here, for your final answer


i am in a very very frustrated mood. this place sucks. really really sucks. i am stuck in burwood which honestly feels worse than scotland. and i am all the more frustrated cause right now i need a ciggie and i am having the WORST chocolate craving ever. i think i havent had a chocolate in like weeks. and where i used to be able to just jump down 2 flights of stairs and out the door to a 7eleven at my old place, now in burwood, there arent even any STREET LAMPS so how do i make my way a few miles down and even expect to find a convenience store open?! wishful thinking AARGH im so disgruntled.

and it doesnt help im lonely and i have no friends, and i face orientation tomorrow sitting alone in a big lecture theatre just by myself being the loner. i need nicotine and caffeine and chocolate i think i better make myself a cup of coffee to feel better.

and it doesnt help i really really love you. and i really really miss you.

i wrote a letter to you todae, but knowing me chances are i'll tear it up cause there isnt even any point in sending it to you.

why do i even try.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

first calendar week back is almost at and end. so yup, im probably abit more cheerful than when i first got here.
went city on friday afternoon, went to find swong with her friends and brought them shopping cause they couldnt find 'the reject shop' haha. then went to meet chiewkeng and ran some errands, then we went red silk for a late lunch which was at 4 something haha. went back to his place then jo-anne called me so i asked her follow me to buy guitar. so met up then i went to the guitar shop. and i now very very badly want the gibson sg special series. its really one of the best guitars i've ever played. and allan's music also has the voodoo series one, which is all black with a red voodoo skull embossed on the 8th fret. haha damn cool.
so in the end i bought a 12 string acoustic which sounds pretty nice. although i would have very much liked the gibson electric, but im content with an acoustic cos even if i'd gotten an electric, i would have needed to buy an amplifier too, and that is TOO COSTLY!

so then went for joanne's birthday dinner with the whole gang but it was so weird cos chiewkeng and i were the only guys there. and i swear he was almost drunk cos he was doing damn stupid things like pouring sugar in my beer. it was like getting sweeter and sweeter. then they damn stupid played the overturned hot chocolate cup trick on me. retards i am so pissed i fell for it haha.
then we went to crown to hang out really fun. cause it got damn cold after awhile, like suddenly. so we walked back to chiewkeng's house to get my stuff, then i stayed over at joanne and yenteng's place. hahha it was the first nite i slept with a pillow since i got back. damn sad case.

then todae was jo-anne's birthday haha so confusing. so while waiting for her cause she had to wait for the fridge guy to come, i went to do groceries. then we went for lunch at nasi lemak house, and brought her to eat tiramisu at la notte's.

so then i cabbed back stupid $30 cab cause well, aussie has very expensive cabs but i had so much to carry back you see. and i had a very very good dinner. microwave malaysian curry and rice, a cup of tomyam soup, 2 glasses of juice, and tea. haha im quite healthy rite. and grapes too.

and i bought two new books to accompany me through the nights for the next week until lessons actually start on the 28th.

im off to start reading one now. goodnight world.

these are the reasons darling.

Friday, February 18, 2005

i have finally got my internet connection working. i am so happy!

so i have gotten my subjects and my classes. for this year i am taking:
-media and communication
-professional writing
-film and video
-psychology

haha i wanted to do something like criminal studies but i was afraid i might end up as a melbourne policeman. no good.

swong never reply me bleah. haha i wanna go see her today, cause in awhile im going into the city! to meet CHIEW KENG and NINA and the rest maybe claire too. and that there's dinner tonight at crown i think. just like the good old days. haha and im very proud of myself. cause i arranged my timetable so that my last class of the week ends at 1550 on thursday. means i can take a tram down, reach the city by six, and spend friday, saturday and sunday with the city people. haha but my mum wont allow.

but as i'm getting used to it, the suburb is really pretty nice. the air is very very fresh(the type of smell lee and me went crazy over last year), and at night, the sky is so clear you can see the stars. and like its really very pretty if you can get over the fact there's no civilisation.
i hope many of you guys visit me cause im allowed overnight visitors so it'll be nice taking you around the suburb.
last year gab brought you around the city, this year hopefully he gets to bring you around the SUBURB haha.

ok off to the city now, to look for a guitar, do some shopping, and definitely eat la notte's tiramisu. gabriel out!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

no internet connection in my room yet so cant post much, but will be back soon. using the common internet room now.

first day was a drag, never felt homesick like it before. couldnt sleep and i really missed everyone. this place is kinda like scotland, few buildings and many many grass. school was okae, just got back from enrolment, and i chose my subjects and got my id card. so thats not too bad.

yesterday improved though. free day so i went to town and met up with nina, claire and adel. ran into a number of people on the way but it was really the only thing that made me smile so far. eating lunch and ying thai and then going safeway shopping.

talked to eric last night which was good too, and chiew keng called me! haha yup so sweet of him so since i have a free day tomorrow as well, im probably going down to the city again, and if my mum allows, i might stay over.

the americans in my hostel are all in the swimming pool now in their trunks and bikinis haha. and one dude just carrying 2 beers just asked me to join them. i want the beer but im not sure i wanna go into the pool. all the guys are really massive haha i need owen here.

anyway this was just to let all you guys knoe im safe and sound, albeit very miserable, sad and lonely.

17 weeks. i'll survive.

Monday, February 14, 2005

happy friendship day. screw off to valentine's day. if you really loved her, you'd make her feel special everyday, not just on one miserable day you scumbag.

so the 13th was a good day for friendship. met yingjie and minyi in town and we just ate, walked, chilled, and ate somemore, amidst many engaging stories, which definitely shows friendships overcome any possible obstacles. one year of distance hasnt hindered my ability to feel totally at home with yingjie, and a massive misunderstanding hasnt changed how min is still the one girl that knoes me the best.

moving on, went to bugis to meet azad, to collect my candles, and kinda walked around a little, doing simple stuff like buying stationary and eating oyster omelette, but just for the sake of spending time together. cabbed back and gave him a lift, but azad's always telling me to chin up. haha we'll see.

came home for dinner and surprise surprise. mwong and owen came over after work with prata and soup kambing for me. damn sweet of them cause i wont likely get to eat good stuff like that for a long time more. and owen came with chicken MARSALA cause he ordered wrongly instead of chicken MURTABAK. chilled with them, watched soccer and then they had to leave. but thank you both once again for being who you are.

and then hoon came over and we really had a good chat before he had to go home. he was watching me trash people at minesweeperflags before yenteng brought my 8 match winning streak to a halt with a extremely tyco win! haha hoon's another once of those who's proof that friendships can survive time and distance. into the 6th year of being an elder brother to me and couting.
and if a relationship is a greater version of a friendship, then i very much believe in long-distance relationships.

thanks to everyone with the nice farewell messages. a touch of class from imran who gave me an impromptu call from an unknown number. haha well it was his new number la but still! and erm those who messaged me like chuin and shumin(stronger wishes!!!) and those who called and whined to me about their lives specifically and only ryanho.

i did something today against my wishes, but it was something everyone asked me to do. and i not only did it cause everyone asked me to do it, i did it because they made sense. yingjie talked about finishing my unfinished business so that it wont haunt me anymore every night and that i might regret it if i didnt try. and sigh it was so true, even azad agreed.

so
here i go, so dishonestly
leave a note, for you my only one
and i knoe, you can see right through me
so let me go, and you will find someone

Sunday, February 13, 2005

happy 18th birthday to lam xueying ms chilli padi. hope you have a great one :)


i just wanted to let you knoe u killed me once again. buried me alive.

friday night at ac idol, spent mingling around with jason and etc. went to holland v after that with owen, adam and ernest for supper. the hotplate black pepper chicken chop is very very good. had two bottles of beer with owenm and a further 3 cans from 7eleven. stayed till 12 to wish adam a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. came back home and had 2 more cans. all because of you.

hangover on saturday morning. hectic time packing my bag, went for my cousin's 8 year old party. went to meet adam in town with azad, smily, pam, pam and deborah. loitered around, mwong and owen joined us.

went down to cocolatte which has to be the highlight of the week. despite me adamant about not going. much thanks to lee for getting us in and ensuring we had a great time opening the bottle of chivas, and then pouring it down our throats as if there was no tomorrow. but in truth, there really is no tomorrow. drinks and smokes are gonna see me die real soon. and maybe thats what you really want. nigey said my time would come and that smoking is bad. i think he's 50% right. still i love nigey for always being the listening ear i never had.

and thanks to lee ren for drinks and the wonderful night and the friendship which i will treasure despite the introduction of army and university respectively.

and thanks to you for just giving me shit over and over again. 'sorry' has to be the most overused word in your dictionary. and im quite sick of it. how bout doing something for yourself for a change, instead of thinking you owe everything to everyone.

the un-in-ing starts today. no more messages, no more midnight mind-wanderings. no more what ifs, and no more letting my heart drift further in. im putting the photo of us in a far away corner of the closet, where i wont get reminded of you. if you read this then i'll say what i'll make myself not say in 2 days time.
happy valentines day.
if you never read this, then never mind. i know on my part i wished you. i know for my part i did something about us, something you can never say the same about yourself.

and if you think im being really sore and bitter, i'll take a leaf out of your book. "sorry".

another night all alone
another night i cry myself to sleep again

Thursday, February 10, 2005

happy chinese new year to one and all :)

new year's eve wasnt bad. quality time spent with adam and azad, ikea shopping, far east lunch, and constantine. walked around with azad for awhile more, ran into jason and mark.
went home for reunion dinner which was pretty good, considering my aunty and her family turned up, and my aunty and my dad had a major problem last year. hopefully, a new year brings new beginnings.

first day was erm, waking up at 11am haha. a family of erm family friends came over. yup i've known them since i was born, cause my grandmother used to babysit the eldest son, and now he's all working and married already. haha people get old real fast. and an interesting story is that, the father of this family, he once rescued my aunt when she got stuck in an elevator long ago. haha like back in the 70s. thats how way back my relation with this family goes. my aunt also came.
then went off to my mum's side for reunion lunch, which was pretty cool this year, cause it was a bbq haha. yup saw my many many relatives cause my mum's side has 8 children, so that makes many many cousins.

at nite had yusheng, just a small one with my family, and then, went for prata with dan and yuwei. came home, wei an came, mahjong-ed and lost$15. i think they are too good for me. WHERE"S MY MAHJONG CCA PEEPS? come i need to win money from you guys :D

yup so here's second day today and im here. and im almost back in melbourne. almost.
almost didnt catch the title of this song. but you should hear it. its VERY GOOD. almost by bowlingforsoup.

and i almost had you
but i guess that doesnt cut it
and i almost had you
and i didnt even know it
-almost/bowlingforsoup

Monday, February 07, 2005

the used is a pretty darn cool band. i first listened to them around 2003, and i have to say they have never let me down with their music. their complement of bittersweet melodies with heartfelt lyrics are basically a treat to the ear. but for my case, their songs relate to me and i guess thats why im so into them. if you're kinda into erm slightly rougher emo, but not the hardcore stuff, i highly recommend The Used. there's abit of screaming here and there, and there's the occasional vulgarity, but that aside, their music packs a pretty mean punch!

you almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm, red flashing lights
well this time im not gonna watch myself die
i think i made it a game to play your game
and let myself cry
i buried myself alive on the inside
so i could shut you out
and let you go away for a long time

i guess its okay i puked the day away
i guess its better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back
you're gonna have to ask

-buriedmyselfalive/theused

Sunday, February 06, 2005

saturday wasnt a bad day. went shopping and finally managed to get abit of stuff for chinese new year, as well as melbourne. had a bad haircut, but then again i always think my haircuts are bad. met owen and we had fish and chips at taka, i had the beer-battered ones but i made sure owen had the normal ones lest he get drunk :P loitered around and he was getting so sleepy so we had a beer each to sober us up. i was getting very edgy cause drinking beer from lido supermarket outside at mccafe isnt very face, and despite owen's disagreement, there were really very many people looking at us.

ryanho and nigey joined us, and then we went to find jason, liping & gang at cine. azad joined us cause he just finished a match. what did we do? erm we loitered alot. then we walked here walked there and wasted alot of time. and nigey's chinese is very the good.

this is nigey ordering chai tow kway.
nigey: erm can i have one chai... carrot cake!

HAHA. damn cute la nigey boy. and then after that owen was feeling tired so we left the group, went to find azad who was with joan and xue and their friend! and then azad was damn freaking funny, sundaes were on me, and then azad tried to be funny, he wanted to mix mcflurry oreo with cappucino. then he changed his mind and we had a sundae with BOTH chocolate and strawberry. then owen didnt want strawberry so he asked azad to ask for EXTRA chocolate. haha then azad returned the guy his sundae and asked if he could have the actual strawberry pieces. haha but the guy was damn nice and cos like it was already 10plus so i guess they couldnt be bothered.

went to weian's house cos dan and kevin were there. watched manu beat birmingham 2-0, went to the playground for beer+redbull, soccer and a nice chat. came home around 4plus.

woke up today at 7am for church and today my mum accompanied me so it was good cause i didnt have to go all the way to little india myself. but it was good bonding time with her, although we probably only have one more week of it :(

and i was watching mtvasiaaid just now on tv. it was so cool! two of my favourite bands at once! cause good charlotte were on with "i just wanna live". then they finished and started on "lifestyles of the rich and famous". and then on the second verse, pierre from simple plan appeared and he sang along with joel! i was really like amazed, cause i love watching live performances. then they sang together. then the refrain part where it goes "faaaaaaaalllllllllllll" for damn long, they were like just making dedications to the tsunami people, and then suddenly the goodcharlotte drummer gets off the seat, and the simpleplan drummer chuck comes on. and then they play "shut up" and this time, joel helps out pierre on the vocals. haha it was damn damn cool. and then later on, simpleplan did "welcome to my life", without joel this time, but it was a damn good performance.

damn. i wanna do that too.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

was feeling sappy again today. not really sad or miserable, just a little down.

one fine day maybe you'll stumble upon this. and you'll read all the archives and the history and what not. and maybe then you'll realise everything ive done in the past one year or so, has just been around you. and hopefully you'll see, everything about me is about you.

then again why the heck am i dreaming my life away? you never read this.

and while im in such a mood, i must as well confess im a sucker for pop love songs. b*witched are top of my list right now. nothing else like good lovey dovey songs to get you in the mood to tuck yourself under the blanket, listen to the songs, look at the photo frame by your bed, and wish for a better day.


i knoe that i should get on with my life, but a life lived without you could never be right
i knoe that i ought to find someone new, but im finding myself always thinking of you
as long as the stars shine down from the heavens
as long as the rivers run to the sea
i'll never get over you getting over me

Friday, February 04, 2005

i swear too much suppering is not good for me. i just got back from newton awhile ago and i cant really sleep cause my stomach feels very bloated, and its making funny noises. guess its my fault for sharing two stingrays with wei an, and drinking 1 and a half bottles of beer by myself, but still! its damn nice okae! yup went newton with dan and wei an for supper like we always do.

so today i really just stoned at home, played abit of internet checkers and reversi which im damn addicted to right now. and my mum's hooked on text twist, after a long break. shes been playing it non stop since this evening.

haha oh i went to swong's blog earlier and it totally cracked me up haha. and i couldnt tag on swong's board, so swong here goes. you totally made my day/week/month/year alright. i think youre the FIRST person to ever dream of me haha. so thank you! xP

gotta sleep soon, playing tennis early tomorrow morning with wei an.

gabriel out!

Thursday, February 03, 2005

had very good conversations with claire and nina just now. and also had a nice one with min. haha i told claire the whole history, starting from where it all began.

and then you gotta hear this. this is what me and randy were talking about. so cause i told ran to start a metal band with robin in monash. and he said must start boyband cause metal band nobody like. so we were planning and heres the deal.

we have to appeal to the masses. so krishna will target the age group 6-12, randy will target 15-21, mulia will target 25-35, and robin will target 60-70. this way, we have universal appeal, and the whole family, and we literally mean the whole family can come watch the concert.
so robin will have to sing john denver and nat king cole, mulia haas to do bee gees and beatles, randy wants to do BON JOVI but we'll make him do justin timberlake. and then krishna sadly has to do Hi-5. but hey, farrell will no douby enjoy that one. see we TARGET THE MASSES!
then when they all get lucky, randy will date the daughter, mulia will date the mother, and robin will date the grandmother! now isnt that wonderful? and we havent left krishna out! he will babysit the toddlers at home! wow! i make a damn band manager i do!

haha so enough crap aside but it was so nice talking nonsense with ran.

was gonna blog about deep stuff like what i chatted about nina with but seeing how its such a happy post, ill leave it.

gabriel out!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

today was a physically exhausting day. only got to sleep at 5 the nite before but woke up at 7 by my mum who asked me if i wanted to go for breakfast. told her no and was ready to back to sleep when the phone rang and mrs tan asked me to do relief again. so i didnt even bathe and comb my hair, just brushed my teeth got my stuff and hurried down for my first class which started at around 8.

so seven periods of PE today including 5 straight classes in a row which lasted officially from 745-1105, without a break. but it was nice cause all i did was play soccer with the boys really. but now my legs are honestly aching, like they were cramping while i was asleep just now.

haha i was acutally thinking that indirectly, im realising my dream of being a professional footballer! cause barker pays me around $60 a day. and what do i do? play soccer. so im being paid to play. and thanks to mwong's handy idea on using calculators, i can proudly say i earn more that Goh Tat Chuan!

ok say Mr Goh earns $1,500 a month which is pretty above average i think for an S-League player. that equates to $375 a month, which leads to $53 a day!
which means i am earning more than an average S-League player, which can only mean i'm better than them :D

gotta sleep soon, arsenal-manu later. and i need to rest my achy legs.

it seems im staring at the sun

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

one of these days each of you will one by one realise how meaningless your lives are. how you go about day to day carrying out the fixed schedule we call a timetable. maybe a little thing exciting happened in the afternoon, maybe something made you sad at night. everyday, the same thing happens.

soon you will ask yourself really what you are living for? a number of you will say at this moment in time, an academic pursuit. i suppose, but just between you and me, would you be studying if you didnt have to? or are you just doing it plainly cause its what we're meant to be doing?
you see, everything is about conforming to society and its stereotypes. we study cause well, who doesnt study? we have to be normal people. can any of you say you are studying because its something you want in your life, and not because it is expected of you?

and then of course, some of you have a partner to live for. and well i used to be a sucker for first loves. but honestly, i think such things are extinct really. okay apart from maybe say our parents' generation, can you find any couple who are actually each other's first love? i mean yup sure the odd pair can proudly declare that. but most, can't. and most of us have already been involved in a few relationships, and at such a young age. (i say most of us, me not included)
and for all those who believe that the one person they're with now, will end up the one they'll marry, i safely can say you make love worth believing in. yup but how many can honestly say so without being a liar!

so yup, before you carry on i'll give you a minute or two to think about what your life is all about. school. cca. homework and tests to study for. basically eats up your whole week you barely even have time to catch a breath, and there's the weekend where you have to cram all the things you wanna do, the things you have to do, into. go out with your boyfriend, church, study somemore, go shopping, catch a movie.

do you even have time to stop for a moment, look around, and wonder whether its all worth it? everyone is so caught up in their own world and their busy lifestyles, none of us ever take the time to appreciate what surrounds us, the many things we take for granted. have you ever wondered what it would be like, if you never woke up tomorrow? can you remember when was the last time you watched the sunset? can you remember when was the last time you had duck porridge and sugarcane juice at east coast? can you remember the last time you told someone really important to you how much they meant to you?
i dont think i can, and that just means if i never wake up again tomorrow, plainly it means i'll never get to experience such things again.

everyone, and i do mean everyone takes the world for granted. we are so complacent we think that no harm can ever befall us cause well, that only happens to 1 in every 10000000000000000 person. but when something happens to someone close us, it suddenly becomes such a big concern. do you really need harm to befall a close one before you realise the harshness of life?

take in the wonderful world God has created for us. i can genuinely say the feeling of sand on my bare feet is one of the nicest feelings ever. not muddy sand you knoe, like normal beachy sandy sand. and its such a simple thing really, but when was the last time you gave your feet some quiet time with the beach?

so while the rest of you waste your life, im glad i got something to keep me going. and im sorry if you're jealous your life is just that mundane, but please dont shoot me down because i got bigger goals than you.

dont shoot me down cause im trying to do something that everyone says is stupid. cause im doing something you people stereotype as wrong. dont shoot me down just because im trying to save a sinking ship.

when was the last time you let your heart take control of you? its always mind over heart, mind over heart. well feelings are called feelings for a reason. and thoughts too. you knoe thoughts, they're just what occuring in our brain. but feelings, thats what we really wanna do.

when was the last time you let your heart fly away, and see what it brought back?

even if i died tomorrow, you wouldnt see a single tear drop from my eyes.
cause i made it meaningful myself.
cause i lived it like theres no tomorrow.
cause i followed my heart.

cause i didnt worry my life away.

me

everyone calls me gab
and i'm a goofball of a guy!
i'm a part-time blogger,
and full-time songwriter

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