Wednesday, June 23, 2004
the first time she walked past me she stole my heart and went away. ever since then i've been looking out for her everyday. the first time i ever got close to her in any way was when jun li asked her to join us to study. i watched her as she sat down next to jun li. i remember that lee ren, mah and i couldnt stop laughing. i bet she thought we were idiots. i remember cursing and swearing that at the maths tutorial questions. i heard her asking jun li what my name was, and then i heard her ask me if i needed help. i remember saying no, but that if i needed help i'd ask her. i remember going to ask he a question 5 seconds later. i gave her a flower before i left the study place that day, thanking her for answering my one question on differentation of cos and sin. i remember my heart beating awfully fast whenever i walk past her, hoping she'll smile at me maybe. i purposely went to talk to porky before the eap exam last saturday, just cause she was standing next to porky. i finished the paper one and a half hours early, but i loitered around until the paper actually finished, just to get a glimpse of her. i remember on monday while walking to the maths paper with robin, she walked down the tram with so many people and it just brightened up my day. but i was smoking, and i didnt think she'd like it. today was literature and i didnt get to see her before the exam. once again i finished one and a half hours early, and once again i waited til the end of the paper to get a glimpse of her. i saw her from outside the exam hall, looking through the class door. i remember her excitedly chatting to her friends about the paper. i remember smiling to myself. she and her friends went to the city to eat cos they had another paper at 2. my friends were going to subway which was the opposite direction. i told robin lets go to the city for lunch and we did. i walked robin back to the exam place cause he had physics. i smoked with him outside before we went in for the exam. she and her friends had returned from their lunch. once again, i smiled, but once again, she saw me smoking. i think, once again, she didnt like that. i was walking around while robin was busy asking people questions before the exam started and i remember seeing some of my friends playing pool. i asked for a game and andrew kueh agreed. i remember seeing her sit by the side, studying her notes. i remember her whole bunch of friends surrounding her. i remember playing badly at first but eventually left with the black ball. i remember seeing her gaze on me as she watched to see if i would hit the black ball in. i did. i walked away and she probably went back to her studying. i remember telling myself i've fallen in love. i remember realising that she didnt know.
lights off, pyjamas on
5:03 AM
Friday, June 18, 2004
heya. havent slept since yesterday at 6pm cos i had a marathon maths studying session. was at the melbourne uni library from around 10 till 3am as that when they close, doing logs and differentation and all that nonsense. and then after that i went to my friends house and we started studying again at 5am all the way till around 630. and then it was still dark and i was feeling in need of a stress reliever so guess what? i took a jog! in the darkness and the 10degree weather. haha but it felt pretty good, doing some exercise while forgetting about studying momentarily. but its back to studying again now. tomorrow is my first paper so im starting to worry haha.
oh i did an amazing thing this morning. while waiting for my 845 class to start, i cut my own hair. cos it was getting really bushy and POUFY(like eric's haha) so i decided to trim it and i did it myself. and hey it doesnt look that bad.
i kinda really liked shumin's blog entry on the one about doing your best. i often wonder what it would have been like if i had stayed in singapore. if i had been rejected by gurmit singh again, i would have probably ended up in like cjc or pjc, which aint bad at all. and i wonder if i might have liked it more. true, i'd still get to meet up with all my friends every other day and everything would be such a familiarity. but then again, i've got to meet people from all sorts of countries and all walks of lives, and not everyone of us gets such a chance. so yeah i guess i should truly appreciate my blessings.
and i would like to say one of my favourite sayings, although its very basic and very often said, i just like it for its sheer power.
do your best and let God do the rest
i mean it sounds like what a sunday school teacher might say to the 6 year old kids yeah? but i feel its such an important saying. its just like you reap what you sow. as long as u put in the effort, God will ensure that there will be a result. and it goes for everything. work, studies, sports, even your friends and lovelife. and with that in mind, i can take my exams with a hint of ease, knowing that as long as i put in as much as effort as i can, God will see to it that i do well. but of course, the effort has to be put in, and i daresay i have been studying reasonably hard this past week.
haha and shumin, thanks for all your lovely testimonials on friendster. but lennard and i are still gonna hang a zhu tou on ur gate. why?? cos we're all loving lentor buddies! =P
lights off, pyjamas on
9:02 AM
Monday, June 14, 2004
i'm broke haha. i'm never going casino ever again. i went twice before and won 30 and 35 bucks each time. on friday, it was yuji's last nite here before going back to singapore so we had dinner, wei an, yuji and me. and then one of them said casino and all of our eyes brightened up! hahah so we took tram all the way to crown and started playing. hahah and thats when it all got downhill. i changed 150 dollars into chips and played blackjack and played and played and before i knew it, i had 350plus dollars. i was up by 225 dollars i think and boy was i happy. and then clever mr wei an came by and said lets go for a drink. and after the drink, it got downhill from there. before i knew it, i lost everything. haha not blaming wei an, its my fault and its a lesson learnt. but in the end all three of us went home with empty pockets so haha no god of gamblers coming out from us anytime soon.
ahhh harry potter was rather disappointing except for HERMOINE! wow i tell you i was the only one that liked her in the first movie la but now, everyone is trying to steal her from me. haha and since when did harry potter's quidditch jersey have a number?
haha i've been eating a lot ever since i came here man. alot of supper too! haha who knows whats a souvlaki? haha its this greek food which is basically sliced meat off the kebab rack wrapped with tomatoes, onions and lettuce, with garlic sauce, in a piece of pita bread or lebanese bread or whatever you call that prata like thing. haha and they serve it in most places either as chicken or lamb, which is the more traditional one. haha well yesterday for dinner me and my housemate robin, whos a bloody good guitarist, went to the city and had japanese food. haha and then after that he went to his friend's place and i went to find lee ren and we just chilled at his place until vel, jun and joyce(these 3 malaysian girls)shouted for lee ren across the swimming pool. and then we decided the go for coffee at some restaurant along lygon street. and almost every restaurant along lygon street is an italian restaurant so i ordered pasta to eat. and then later on our way back lee ren bought a souvlaki to eat. haha all this talk about food is making me hungry. its 514pm and i havent eaten anything cos i just woke up and hour ago. so haha off to grab a bite now, see you!
lights off, pyjamas on
3:02 PM
Thursday, June 10, 2004
hey once again. just finished dinner and my friends randy and edwin are studying in one of the school buildings so i though i'd just come use the computer lab. had a full day of class today which was marred by 2 academic assesments. Firstly was English for Academic Purposes(EAP), which isnt english but the marks are still important as depending on what course you wanna take in uni, you have to score a certain minimum for EAP. so yeah i had a speaking assesment for EAP which was graded upon 5 and i was so nervous cos i only prepared the last night at 330am. so yeah i was pretty slipshod and you knoe how fast i normally talk, imagine that 10 times faster. still, my teacher said it was pretty good so no harm done then.
and then after lunch i had my drama monologue exam. the actual english subject is made up of literature(70%) and drama(30%) and todae's drama assesment was worth 10% of my overall english marks at the end of the year so of course i had to do well for it. yeah we kinda had to recite a passage 200 words long by heart, plus insert emotion and feelings into the passage la. i did the one involving a heroin addict so it was quite simple cause heroin and nicotine is kinda the same. haha yeah so all i had to do was stare blankly and look psycho and i think i did it pretty well. drama is kinda fun but its quite embarassing as you look really silly in front of your classmates, especially when you're doing mime(which we did in 1st term). imagine wiping an imaginary plate with an imaginary towel of having to make sure the whole class can see your actions. haha it thats not malu-ating i dont knoe wad is. i kinda got 8.25/10 for my first term mime so haha im not too bad la.
yeah harry potter opens in melbourne todae and we're gonna watch it later but i had reservations on going cause i have classes tomorrow and i just dont feel like. i dont knoe why. probably cos i've watched the last two with dan my bro so not watching this one with him feels kinda sad, as though we're so distant now. but if i go, i'll try to get into the casino again. hopefully this time, i'll win more than what i won the last time, which wasnt alot. but i think i'll get bounced this time. bloody strict aussie bouncers. and they have to be so darn BIG!
haha but harry potter. how long have i waited for it to release man. its like the best book ever, and along with spiderman 2, this is a must watch for this summer(or winter if you're unlucky enuff to stay in australia or new zealand or anywhere around here). my exams are in less than two weeks time so im gonna put in extra effort next week la.
anyway dwin and ran are done studying so we're going off for dinner now. catch ya later.
lights off, pyjamas on
5:33 PM
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
just talked to owen for maybe an hour.. his not feeling really good lately, many things screwed up in his life and i wish i could help but i could only console him and give him advice, which probably wont ease the pain much. but i hope he knows that he still has friends who care alot about him.
sometimes when people give you advice you should heed it, especially if the person has known you for a long time and only has your best interests at heart. if you dont take the advice, you'll only realise once you've been burned, and that will be too late to prevent getting hurt and miserable. funny how people are so stubborn, they rather listen to people they've only recently knew, than the ones who have been watching their backs for the past few years. and its not only one time its happened.
so if ever you have a dilemma whether to forget the person you're after, well then i think you should just let go. its so darn cliched but if its meant to be it will end up yours and if its not meant to be then it wont. just let go and watch. she'll realise you were the one who was always honest with her from the start. pity she'll have to be hurt before she can realise.
and its not as though owen is lacking any suitors,in my opinion he is SOOOOO eligible. and its not as though he had it very fairly. had alot of bullshit put to him which i shant say what. i mean neither party is at fault but then in every scenario, there's always a bloody bastard in the picture. ok too strong a word there so i'll take that back.
anyways, cheer up owen. its not always the good guys who get the girls. we should knoe that. ;)
"all that i needed to hear from you, something i value but something untrue
all that i wished that i'd find within you"
-somethingofvalue/yellowcard
lights off, pyjamas on
12:35 AM
Monday, June 07, 2004
one week since ive blogged.. sorry yeah. my com was down with a parasite(well since long ago) so its been really laggy which explains why the last few entries were written from the computer lab. but now that my friend ronny has cleared it more or less, its working so much faster than before. well exams are coming in 2 weeks time so i should get down to studying. i pretty much understand bio just that i have to start memorising facts. im way behind in chem but i think if i start reading the notes i should do fine. and maths which is my worse topic is still my worse topic. but i sat down today i read the lecture notes and i found it quite interesting to do. for maths, the difficult thing is to understand the formulae and reasoning. once thats out of the way, maths can be very very fun. honestly.
its been seven weeks since i left home, pretty fast eh? haha feels like yesterday that i was jamming in my house with azad, adam and matthew, or when i ate prata with my parents on a weeknight. things like that which used to come so frequently that you take them for granted are now such cherishable memories cos,well... they aint that frequent anymore. haha yeah i especially miss sec4. best year of my life even though sec2 was the funnest year, sec4 was the most memorable. i miss every minute of it and if only i could relive it and i sometimes wish i had a video of the whole year. i mean, something i can play on the tv and watch and sit back and smile at the silly things i did, and the good friends i made. haha sighh. 2003 was a blast.
haha thanks owen for introducing me to yellow card. they seriously are good. i read shumins entry on the bible code and it certainly was very interesting. made me wonder about destiny and stuff. i mean as believers of God we of course knoe that everything has already been planned. but the fact that there are supposed predictions of future events leads to the further question if there's a way our futures can be uncovered. anyway shoeminty, to return the compliment, that was one helluva entry.
my beloved brother is planning a big party for me and wei an when we get back from here so i cant wait la. when my bro plans parties, they really are big. fun fun fun.
ok this is abit weird but i suddenly have a yearning to hear christmas songs. i mean christmas songs are just so magical and fascinating, just like christmas itself and im just disappointed that being in south east asia, we've never experienced christmas the way its celebrated everywhere else. the snow and the cold and the fireplaces. i mean, christmas is definitely more than snow and turkey and presents. but for the christmas spirit to be present, a christmas ambience is always conducive. cant wait for december then. one fine day, i hope i get to celebrate christmas they way it is in the movies. they way it was in love actually. watch it and you might get what i mean.
"i feel it in my fingers, i feel it in my toes
christmas is around me, and so the feeling goes"
lights off, pyjamas on
7:47 PM
