Monday, February 23, 2009
i should be asleep by now or at least with eyes closed forcing myself to doze off but it's evidently rather difficult. instead, i find myself listening to music from yesteryear and drifting off to random thoughts.
i think i want to find some meaning in my life. it obviously doesn't help that i'm serving my time now so for the next 19 months, day to day life is forcibly going to be very mundane. but everyday when i go to work i hope that i have work to do so that i dont at least waste away my time. i also consider myself to take pride in my work so that's one good thing. when i tabulate stats or write a directive from scratch, i try to do it as if that was my own assignment.
life at home isn't ideal either. everyone's always finding fault with somebody else, and being caught in the crossfire isn't the nicest place to be. today we went for a family dinner and most instances were filled with silence. most people couldn't even find a random nice thing to say to one another. what used to be a weekly occurence has lost all manners and etiquette and even warmth that i wonder if i'm wrong to actually avoid these outings nowadays. i pretend to be sick so i can skip such dinners but what's the point of family dinners if they're more out of habit than sincerity.
it's good to have friends, no matter how few they are. some of the good ones invariably can't be around all the time so we make do. but there are others who perhaps get caught up with their new lives, captivated by the excitement of freedom or the bright lights of fame. for the longest time, it's often been a one-way thing but recently i have only bothered making an effort if the other party is willing too. i think that can be quite meaningful, making sure you're not a backup plan.
i don't quite know if i wanna work after i finish NS or study a lil bit more. my grades weren't that great so honours/masters isn't really an option. i could do a second degree for postgrad i guess but again, where would i go. going back to melbourne has its appeals but it would seem meaningless. after going through all the effort of packing up and the heartache of leaving the place i called home for 4.5 years, going back there would totally cheapen the experience. maybe i might take the GMATs and attempt my education in the states haha. there's also the fact that my timing is really shit. by the time i finish NS and study again, most of my friends would have finished studying. either way looks pretty lonely.
starting work was what i always thought i wanted. gain some experience, realise how tough it is to earn a buck, and then maybe go back to study with newfound discipline and drive. still, working as a clerk from 8-6 everyday already has me whining and dreaming of skiving. i can't imagine when it's actually my own job with a proper pay and stuff, would i be taking MCs when i can't wake up after clubbing the night before haha.
this has to be one of the most dreariest posts i've ever written. i think i need a girlfriend haha. someone to kick me silly for being so dark and emo. i'm not even emo actually, i'm just very pessimistic at the moment. i don't see any sunrises beyond the horizon, and i laugh at the idea of a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. thank goodness for inspirational songs that keep me going. like
the goo goo dolls and
our lady peace. kickass old-school stuff. gives you a faint glimmer hope for better days.
i wonder what my favourite childhood tale was. i would love to say hansel & gretel but that would just be because of the gingerbread house (and that would reveal how glutton i am). i like land before time because it tells about friendship and sticking up for one another. i should rent that one and watch it again and bawl like a baby when littlefoot's mum gets killed. i also like charlie and the chocolate factory because it teaches us to follow our dreams and that anything can happen.
what the heck. aladdin's the best. just ask someone to be my princess jasmine, fly on over on a magic carpet (with shisha pipe installed), and we'll go find a whole new world.
gabriel out!
lights off, pyjamas on
12:43 AM
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
oh no i was meant to sleep early tonight, and it's already 12! haha but this will be sewn up fast and off to the first decent weekday sleep in awhile.
it's been roughly a week since i last posted. last wednesday was a cool chillout adventure. amos, nat and i went to kent ridge to chat amongst the trees and the view from the top of the hill. looking down on all the lights was surreal. two bottles of bacardi breezer probably made it even more so lol.
thursday was spent finding amos (or should i say Mr Tan) at canberra before heading to lunch at KFC and then back home where we spent the whole arvo deciding what to do and combining our forces to reach new GeoChallenge scores. after which, Pa dropped us at amos' (where he caught up with his dad for abit) and then after failed attempt at rooftop acrobatics by me, we went to islandcreamery for ice cream and coronation for lemon chicken. after buying presents for nat (flowers and a pet), she fetched us and we adjourned to cine to catch
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which is seriously the best show i've watched in awhile.
friday was funny. i took half day leave and came home to chill. then it was maternal grandma's birthday so relatives came over for a pretty good dinner. after that, headed down to holland to find the rest cause eric's mate brandon was down from sydney so we were persuaded to head to zouk with josey and all. whoever came up with the wise idea of PowerHour wasn't that wise cause i was gone after just 20 minutes haha. we didn't even last the hour!! and supper at Spize was a vacant affair we no one really daring to consume too much food.
saturday was Valentines Day, also known as Love Sucks Day for those lucky singletons around. thankfully i had a date, in fact, TWO, in fact THREE. i went for dinner with nat and amos (again) at this thai joint along 6th avenue (which is good and i shall go back cause i can't find good thai in singapore). then we went to island and after seeing the queue (as well as getting rejected by xue lol) we headed to nat's house with eric in tow for a night of singing, chilling and winning.
sunday was cool too. family day more or less. we went to Arab St for
soto ayam but after seeing
roti jala i couldn't control myself so i ordered both! the food was really good, am definitely going back. supper then watched manu beat derby 4-1.
just got home tonight from dinner with amos and chuin at holland. just a simple meal accompanied with teh ping, but with good company, i could live like this everyday. gabriel out!
lights off, pyjamas on
12:03 AM
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
to be completely honest, the last week or so has been eventful and pretty awesome. and that's outrageous coming from the words of one supposedly so emo. but like i always say, i'm just pretending to be emo cause it's fun to ride on the waves of sympathy and my life's a breeze actually ha.
thursday was meant to go for shisha but then natbala asked amos out so we were planning for quite awhile on what to do and where to go. we ended up at my place along with natlee, just chilling and chatting and playing music (which is what i like to do most anyways). as it is, natbala is quite THE musician so right now, we're making plans to collaborate and do gigs at cafes. hopefully, we will be the most successful emo-jazz duo around. all in all, thursday helped ensure that BlindDate101 did not end up the most monumental epic failure thus far lol.
friday's a good day no matter what happens (or doesn't happen). however, last friday was a SUPER good day because:
1) amos ORD-ed (i don't even know why i'm happy it's not like i ORD-ed haha)
2) we went shisha!!
3) didi returned to singapore
haha so on friday, amos and i, attempting to avoid clubbing, ended up at Arab St on a magic carpet, just the two of us smoking shisha, holding amos' ORD-bash. altho intially low-key and loner, it ended out quite the happening event of the night. we were soon joined by natbala before didi came along after having dinner with marc. chuin and tziyang completed the very exclusive guestlist, and it was just a fun night relaxing and enjoying good company.
saturday saw the visit of the thai friend haha. sant, who's in singapore till the end of the month, came over in the evening where we watched Collingwood beat West Coast in the first round of the NAB Cup over McDonalds delivery. haha it was almost like reliving 2006 in melbourne all over again. when dan came back, we played daidee all the way till past midnight man.
sunday saw the visit of the friend from muar haha. ian, on special request by sant, came down to singapore for soccer at night. in the arvo we headed to longhouse for lunch and then at night, soccer was not only a get-together for long-seperated melbourne teammates, but also yuwei's farewell match. i think i had a pretty good game and unlike hoon's farewell, yuwei decided to score the goals without any help (haha ACTION).
yesterday, dan and i sent yuwei off to the airport, where he flew up to china to spend the next six months on internship. although apprehensive and probably afraid (just like me when i left for melbourne aged freaking 16!), i'm pretty sure he'll do fine after acclimatising and end up having a ball of a time and making the most of the experience.
being at the airport was bittersweet nostalgic for me. i remember the times initially when there were people back home i wanted to stay for. going to the airport was always a sad occasion, anticipating another half year away from the ones you wanted to be with.
then there were the times where after growing up, you stop whining and decide to make the most of the opportunity, finally realising how lucky you are to be able to study overseas. being there watching yuwei walk past the departure gates made me realise how much i miss being THAT person. being a civilian. being a student. being overseas and realizing how much you miss the people you normally take for granted. being far away from home so that you appreciate every gesture that is extended to you everyday.
i miss everything about melbourne. i miss the lifestyle and the weather, the people and the places. i miss the memories created and the times spent. not just the romantic idealistic moments, but just the times with dan or adriel on the couch, catching a game of footy over unhealthy grub and some bottles of beer.
i guess that's why recently i've been trying to get as many photos of melbourne as i can. cause chances are those moments won't be re-created again, and on the contrary they fade away with every day. it is important not to be caught up in the past that we wallow and refuse to move forward, but no one ever said you can't hold on to the memories and reminisce.
honestly, that's all i ever do these days. gabriel out.
lights off, pyjamas on
10:15 PM
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
i've been meaning to blog for so long because so much has happened lately but i just haven't had the time. what with chinese new year and work piling up in the office and going out with friends. i shall try to recap the past two weeks to the best of my abilities.
firstly, chinese new year was pretty good. i haven't even counted the money i collected but that's the least of my priorities this year. i don't know why but this time it was basically catching up with family and friends, and truly appreciating the meaning of reunion. meaning for every person i met, i tried recalling the last time we met and how it was pretty good seeing him or her again. it basically applied for many of my parents' friends that watched me grow up that i've become rather fond of one way or another.
been playing soccer abit more frequently lately. had hoon's farewell game at fico last thursday where after much effort, i managed to set him up for the final goal of the session, ensuring the fairytale was completed. that sunday, played a field match for amos' team which was EXHAUSTING to say the least ha.
drove up to JB over the weekend with amos and shumin and marc joined us after. it was fun finally making the trip down to eric's. amos and i decided we're going back every other weekend, mainly due to $2.50 laksa and $4.50 smokes (after converting of course WOOHOO). gambling and winning/losing relatively large amounts of ringgit helped kick in even more chinese new year atmosphere.
work has been alright. assignments have been picking up but it keeps me occupied. most of my colleagues are awesome, some are weird but as a whole it's a decent environment that will hopefully help me pass the next 19 months as fast as possible.
yesterday had dinner with madame and amos, nickoh, kheng and chua. it was nice seeing them considering they haven't turned up for the last few get-togethers. guess we're gonna have to wait till june when EVERYONE is back and that would be one swell meeting.
been lacking sleep so much lately. i think the lack of excitement in the day makes me try to compensate as much at nights and on weekends, resulting in inadequate sleep and subsequently, an even crabbier next day at work. need to start planning how best to spend my time, allocating enough for both rest and play.
i think that was a decent enough recap. i missed out lotsa stuff i'm sure. but it's all right. me gary and deliony have a new running gag in the office. all being medic OOCs, we now take it as our duty to give stick to our fellow medic coursemates. meaning when chicky walks past us everyday in the cafeteria, we ask him to perform PAM on us lol. yesterday we were recollecting how deliony fainted during the IV lesson and gary asked if encik zak performed LOTARP on him on the spot. haha.
i love taking the mickey when it involves something i failed at. sore spots don't feel that sore anymore. gabriel out.
lights off, pyjamas on
11:17 PM
